My Random Babblings

My absence

2008-01-19T17:02:00.000-08:00

yes, I'm still around.... sorry to have pulled a Houdini to anyone who was reading my blog on a regular basis.

I'm the kind pf person that when stuff starts to get serious or emotional I kinda stop talking about it and I pull into myself and deal with it on my own. I don't like hearing negative things about situations that I'm trying to turn around into something positive. I guess that's kinda what happened here and in real life. Don't get me wrong, regardless of whether or not I wanted to hear it, doesn't mean that any of it was incorrect, I just kinda need to go through an experience things myself to learn the lesson.

That being said... give me some time and I'll be back. CB and I have been together this whole time up until 2 days ago. It was really good at times and sometimes it was bad but now it's over. I need some more time to myself before I start putting stuff down into words again. I also want to get back to the original intention of this blog... it was supposed to be a sex blog, not someplace that I came to and started acting like a teenager with a silly crush.

I hope everyone is doing well and I hope to find some inspiration soon!

xoxo
Cali Girl

TMI a little late but here!

2007-11-14T12:29:00.000-08:00

1. Have you ever met a fellow blogger in person?
nope, I have met people from online games or message boards though...

2. Did you ever play an innocent game of "I'll show you mine if you show me yours"? How old were you?
hmmm, not that I can recall but probably...

3. When did you get your first not so innocent kiss?
I was 13 & at the skating rink... didn't ever know his name, just some guy who kissed me outside

4. Have you ever awoke with someone who's name you did not remember?
LOL...yes! Thank god RD knew about it so she called me the next morning and I put her on the phone with him and she found it out for me.

5. Have you ever let someone else wash you while you were perfectly capable of doing it yourself?
just the other day as a matter of fact :)

Bonus (as in optional): What makes a great first date for you?
conversation!

I really could care less where we go, as a matter of fact, the more casual the better... as long as there's great conversation I'm a happy camper!

oh boy

2007-11-08T21:01:00.000-08:00

he's still damn cute.

I went and saw Mike tonight. He called me yesterday and we talked for a while, he asked me to come and see him because his girlfriend lost her ID and can't go.

He's so cute. I guess he'd been nervous and talking about me to his "neighbor" all day. He was still nervous while we were visiting. He'd be talking and all of a sudden look at me and lose his train of thought. He's always told me that I have the most beautiful eyes he's ever seen, he told me again tonight. He told me that if there's anything that could take him away from the great relationship he's in now it would be me. I didn't say anything else to that other than "I know".

I'm not gonna get wrapped up in him again, I just can't. I told him I didn't trust him and he said he understands and doesn't blame me. He also told me that he's finally figured out how much easier and better it is to tell the truth to people than to lie and he's worked really hard in his current relationship to be up front and honest with her.

On another note, I have to have surgery again. Same thing. Apparently I actually had 2 cysts and no one could feel or see the 2nd one until the 1st was gone. So I'll be broken again in about 2 1/2 weeks. CB said he'd take care of me after I have it done. We'll see if he's still around. Something happened the other day and I've told him he has one more chance and if he screws it up this time I'm walking away.

Sorry for my lack of blogging. I usually do it during the day at work and until yesterday the DSL had been down about a week. It's back up and I'm back!

No new HNT pics today, I'll get some next week.

Your voice sounds exactly the same...

2007-11-03T18:36:00.000-07:00

That's the first thing he said when he called this morning...

Yes, I finally mailed Mike a letter on Wednesday or Thursday.

I'm actually doing really good. It was so great to talk to him. There wasn't any awkwardness or anything. We just talked like it hadn't been even a day since the last time we actually did. It was... comforting. We didn't talk for very long, maybe 10-15min. We talked a little bit about what I've been up to, a little bit about him, a little bit about his girlfriend. I guess he wrote me back yesterday when he got my letter, it'll be interesting to see what he had to say, and he said he'll call again so we'll see.

CB and I are still getting along pretty well. Last night we hung out a bit, he ended up staying the night then today we went out to lunch and to the movies. We saw 30 Days of Night. It was alright, not what I expected and I'm not sure I like how it ends but I was proud of myself for going. I don't usually like horror movies.. well, ever since I saw Event Horizon. That movie scared me so bad I haven't been able to really watch horror movies since I saw it.

The sex is still fucking fantastic... last night as soon as we walked in the door he threw me against the wall and gave me the most incredible kiss. Somehow from there we made it into the bedroom and of course the first thing he does is use that incredibly talented tongue to make me cum.... god, that is just my most favorite thing ever. After that it was allllll good....

Here's to it happening all over again tonight!

busy day and a little HNT

2007-11-01T19:08:00.000-07:00

My boss is out of town so I'm running all three stores and it gets to be a bit of a juggling act. Not to mention I have an incompetent employee who frustrates me to no end.

CB and I spent the last 2 nights together. Both nights were actually really good. We seem to get along really well when we're together, it's when we're apart that we'll end up bickering about something stupid. It was fun to spend Halloween with him though. We drove around & looked at the different houses that were decorated then went to dinner then grabbed some ice cream, came back here, lit a bunch of candles and cuddled on the couch. It was fun.

last week ATLLG demanded more of the eyes so this one's for you :)

TMI #107

2007-10-30T11:15:00.000-07:00

1. If they kept stats of your sex life like they do in sports, what would you lead the league in? what all time record would you hold?
haha, this is kind of a silly question... I don't think I'd lead the league or hold any records for anything...

2. What song gets you in the mood to have sex? best music to fuck to? best music to make love to?
oddly enough, I don't think I've ever had sex to music...maybe way back when I was a teenager or something, I dunno. As far as what gets me in the mood... anything that I can grind up against someone to...

3. Where is your favorite place to have sex in your house/apartment?
the bed... boring, I know... although, I'd really love for someone to bend me over the kitchen table or fuck me while I'm sitting on the kitchen counter....

4. (girls) Have you sent or given your used panties to a guy? Do you know what happened to them? (guys) Have you taken/asked for a girls panties before? What did you do with them? (non-breeders) What is the protocol for this "tradition"?
nope, my panties always go back on... plus, that's just weird to me

5. What makes a kiss a great to you?
passion...

Bonus: Who pays for a date? If the girl asks a guy out, does she pay? If you are interested in same sex partners, how do you determine who pays?
I kinda like to keep things fair... he'll pay one time I'll pay the next. If we do something like dinner and the movies and he pays for dinner I'll get the movies.

My Solution & Some HNT

2007-10-25T13:43:00.000-07:00

ok, I finally came to a decision about Mike. I'm not going to go visit him, I know he has a girlfriend and I don't want to take a visit from her plus, although it probably wouldn't happen, there's always the chance that he'd refuse my visit and that would crush me. Instead I wrote him a letter and included my phone number and am going to leave it up to him whether or not he wants to talk to me. I just hope I can finally get some closure so I can close that chapter of my life and finally start to move on.

As for CB, he and I are still being dysfunctional, I really need to move on, I'm not sure what's stopping me. We had another stupid arguement last night and I haven't heard from him at all today. I'm sure that'll only last until tomorrow night though...

Here's me tired and a little hungover but making it through the day!

I didn't go

2007-10-24T10:50:00.000-07:00

I wanted to go visit him so badly last night but I didn't. I went and hung out with some friends at the bar instead. The next time he's allowed visitors is Thursday so today I'm safe from sitting here wondering "should I go?" for at least a day. I did dream about him again last night, that's happened every night since I saw his brother on Friday. I guess my brain is just trying to sort out the conflict while I'm sleeping. I need closure and I'm never gonna get it if I don't see him...am I gonna get it if I see him though?

oh yea, for the record...

2007-10-23T13:50:00.001-07:00

I did end up having sex Friday night

I can't seem to hold out & stop talking to CB for very long, that time it was from Sat to Fri... As soon as I end up in the same place as him I give in & end up taking him home with me. He is good with his tongue, his hands, everything else and knows the right places to touch just the right way to drive me crazy plus he knows and does the one kinky thing that turns me on more than anything and it's just too damn hot to give up!!!

So yes, many orgasms were had Friday night...

Confusion, Turmoil & Some TMI

2007-10-23T09:53:00.001-07:00

We all have one... the one that got away, the person who hurt you so bad it's hard for you to trust anyone else now, the #100 on your "100 Things" list, the guy who you've started a blog about but have never been quite able to finish telling the story, the love of your life, one of the only 2 first kisses you remember, the boy you fell in love with when you were 12 but didn't get together with until you were 23... the boy who broke your heart when you were 25 and you've never really been able to move beyond it.

ok, ok, so maybe you don't have that guy, but I do.

The last time I talked to him was in July '03 and every day since then I've thought about him and wondered where he was and what he was doing.

Friday night I ran into his brother at the bar and got the answer to that question.

He's in jail, in the town that I live in and now I'm waging a war inside myself on whether or not I should go see him.

I think I need to. Not for answers, I don't want an explanation of why he did what he did. I just want to know we can be friends and that I can walk away this time.

we'll see.

ok, enough of that... time for some TMI!

1. What are your 7 favorite tactile things that turn you on? Sex (like oral, or penetrative) cannot be an answer. (Examples: silk, light tickling, etc).
massages, light tickling, kissing and light kisses in the right spots.. ok, really anywhere on the body, sucking on my neck, feathers, silk... is that 7?

2. What are your non-genital errogenous zones and what do you like done to them?
There's this spot on my neck that Mike was always able to find... omg, it would drop me to my knees, aside from that back of the knees & ankles...

3. What sounds get you sexually charged?
the quickening of breathing and any kind of moans or noises from a guy... I love guys who make noise when they're turned on, that just gets me going like you wouldn't believe.

4. After losing your virginity, what is the longest you’ve gone without penetrative sex?
I'm not sure, I lost my virginity at 14 so I'd guess 6 months and that would've been years & years ago... now I'm goin crazy if I go 6 days :P

5. What is your least favorite sexual position? Why don't you like it?
I'm actually not a fan of being on top, it eventually hurts my back.

Bonus (as in optional):If you could sexually dominate or submit to 5 people - any 5, currently living or deceased - which 5 would it be?
I think I'm gonna pass on the bonus this week, I don't really have a good answer for it...

Happy TMI!

What happened to the sex?

2007-10-19T12:29:00.000-07:00

Seriously.

My original intent of this blog was to talk about all my smutty little adventures and what did I go and do... I broke my rules and got involved with a boy and then another one and then started talking about feelings and stuff and stopped writing about sex.

My bad.

So, while maybe not this weekend (I think I'm getting my effin period, why couldn't it wait till Monday!) but hopefully next weekend I'll make an effort to get back to my prowling ways and find a cute new victim to tell you all about :)

So, hope everyone has a sex fill weekend, have an orgasm or two for me!

Kisses!

I kinda miss him...

2007-10-17T12:06:00.001-07:00

RD dedicated this song to be our song so now it reminds me of him... This isn't the actual video for it but I'm not able to link to the real one. You can search for Jason Michael Carroll over on YouTube if you want to see his version.

TMI #104 (a week late)

2007-10-16T12:05:00.000-07:00

I took a look at this weeks questions and don't really have any good answers for them since I'm not so good at the dating thing so since I missed last week I figured I'd go back & do those instead.

oh, and bare with me, I'm messing with my blog colors again :)

1. Wash up, cuddle or fall asleep?
I'd say cuddle or just lay there with one body part touching, like a hand, leg or foot. I'm usually too wired to sleep and washing up right away is just tacky... well, unless it's one of those kinds of things ;)

2. Have you ever fake orgasms?
haha, yes, he needed to be done!

3. In any 24 hour period, what is the most number of times you have ever had sex?
I think this question is really open a lot to interpretation. What is considered a "time". Is it when he cums, when I cum? When he stops then starts again 10 minutes later after a breather? A couple weeks ago I had sex off & on from around midnight to 3am then resumed again off & on from like 8am to noon... (good lord that was fun!)

4. Have you ever had sex or give/received oral sex while you were driving a car?
I know I've given oral while someone was driving & I want to say that I've received but it would've been so long ago that I can't clearly recall if I have or not...

5. What do you think the average number of sexual partners your sex has in their lifetime (so for me a male)? Do you think most people lie when asked?
I'd probably say around 6, although in todays day & age women are becoming more and more ok with casual relationships and sleeping with more men than in past history so the number is probably larger. As far as lying about it, I'd imagine there are a lot of women out there who do lie about it since it's still not really socially acceptable for a woman to sleep around.

Bonus (as in optional):Can men and women be "just friends?" (Explain)
I think it's possible but not too common. At some point human nature kicks in and one of the two develops an attraction for the other.

My Random Ponderings

2007-10-15T11:26:00.000-07:00

It's interesting the different answers people come up with to these questions. You're welcome to answer them here in a comment or to just ponder them to yourself.

Why do we have such a need to have someone else in our lives to make us feel complete?

Why do we love when we know we might get hurt or hurt someone?

Why do we need love at all?

Is there such a thing as love at first sight?

Is there such a thing as soul mates?

Happy Monday

2007-10-15T10:25:00.000-07:00

This weekend was alright.

Friday night RD and I went out to the bar. CB showed up not too long after we were there and a bunch of other people we know were there. She ended up playing dice with a few people down on the other end of the bar from where CB and I were sitting. It was really great to see her laughing and having a good time but I couldn't help thinking... why am I not down there. I'm usually the one right up in the middle of the fun but here I was sittin on a bar stool next to this guy, hardly talking and not having the best time I could've. Yea, I probably should've gotten up & gone over & played dice with everyone else but I didn't really want to deal with the comment or the bad mood I probably would've gotten later about it. He did end up coming home and staying the night with me... after all that with the cat stuff I didn't even ask why he made the exception.

Saturday after RD got off work we swung by a BBQ I had been invited to, it was ok, mostly really young or older people but the location was a beautiful piece of property. I hadn't heard from CB pretty much all day other than 1 silly text forward which I thought was strange, he usually sends me text messages all throughout the day just sayin hi or seeing what I'm up to. So, around 6pm I sent him one asking how his day was & got no response. Around 9:30 RD and I went to the bar & he was there and of course, like every Saturday he was already really drunk. Now, he's one of those people who kind of has a hair trigger personality and something so silly & random can set him off, when he's drunk it's so much worse, it drives me nuts. He was pretty good though throughout the night until it came time to leave. One of his friends came out to the car(I was sober) to say goodbye to us and I guess he said something to piss of CB so then they had to do the manly talking shit chest to chest thing until I said something about knocking off the infantile behavior or I was leaving by myself. His friend got him to back down & get in the car & we left. So then we get to my house he gets out, comes around and tells me that he's leaving... wtf. There was a short conversation that was had with me basically saying if he wasn't going to come up & stay the night that we were done.. sorry, I'm not ok with the drunk driving. He actually chose to get in the car and leave...

He sent me a text about 1/2 later saying good night sweetie and I sent one back telling him I meant what I said about us being done and I haven't heard from him since...

I'm ok with it all, yes I liked him and yes I'll miss him but I can only say "He's really nice when he's sober" so many times before it becomes ridiculous.

It took a lot of convincing for me to give him a shot so I think I want to take a break from the whole dating just one person thing for a while. I don't like to nor do I want to have to modify my behavior and who I am for someone else, that doesn't make me happy.

Uninspired & Some HNT

2007-10-11T11:07:00.000-07:00

That's how I'm feeling I suppose, and it's not that I'm unhappy or anything, I just don't really know what to say right now. Almost a writers block I suppose.

I do have one little frustrating thing going on though. I've finally given in and been hanging out with Country Boy... by the way, I'm shortening him to CB... anyways, I've decided that I like him. He's really sweet to me and we have a good time together.

Now here comes the part where I'm Karmically cursed.

A couple years ago he had lung cancer & had a transplant and is now immunosuppressed and has to get labs done every couple weeks to make sure everything's ok. He went a couple days ago and his labs came back that he has some weird virus that has something to do with cats that he had before and had to get blood transfusions for to get rid of.

Well, I have a cat... and I'm not giving her up... and now he can't hang out at my place and his place isn't an option.

Aside from that stuff, JS's new girlfriend and I have tentatively started talking and are on our way to becoming friends. She's a nice girl and while I was feeling a little resentful towards her at first for what happened, I know it's not her fault and he's a good friend and I just want him to be happy and this is what he's chosen. So I support that and want to make it comfortable for everyone and want everyone to be friends & have a good time.

Little bit of HNT for ya! I posted one of my tattoos a couple weeks ago so here's the rest.

TMI #103

2007-10-02T13:18:00.000-07:00

1. Early bird or night owl?
I am such the night owl!

I will go to bed as late as possible to still get up on time in the morning.. and boy, watch out cause I'm sooooo not a morning person, lol

2. If you could only be one, would you rather be smart or good looking?
damnit, this one is hard... I'm both smart and good looking and I'm not sure which I'd give up... just how "not good looking" would I be?? Would I still be good looking enough to pick up guys? hehe... I'm bad, I know...

3. Do you gossip?
little bit to my best friend but tthat's to be expected... I'm pretty good at extracting gossip from people without giving up any of my own info though

4. On a scale of 1-10, how adventurous are you? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest)
sexually- about an 8 or 9, in life- probably a 5 or 6

5. On a scale of 1-10, how good a kisser do you think you are? ( ditto )
an 11! no, really... I'm a sensual kisser and I like to nibble on lower lips a little ;)

Bonus (as in optional):What do you consider the biggest turn on out of the following? a) lingerie b) movies c) toys d) role playing e) leather f) none of this does anything for me
what happened to g)all of the above? .... any one of those things can be a huge turn on given the setting, mood & other person involved...

ok, so yea, still can't keep it in my pants...

2007-09-29T15:30:00.000-07:00

Once again I went to the bar last night, was drinking and ended up talking to Country Boy for the first time since Sunday. He apologized and was being really nice & not drinking too much because he didn't want to upset me again so I ended up forgiving him enough to let him drive me home then couldn't help it and invited him in.

What can I say, I was horny and he's friggin fantastic in bed!

We got to my place a little after one and were still going at it at 3:15 when my neighbors pounded on their ceiling to try and shut us up (hehe). We went through every position from missionary to him on top, behind, laying side by side, me on my back w/him on his side... he went down & made me cum 3 or 4 times and good lord does this boy know how to find my g-spot. Then this morning we went for a few more hours all over again :)

oh! and thanks to the Rum, I told him that I like things a little kinky. Hair pulling, spanking, being dominated, the whole hand on the neck thing and I "may" have told him I like being tied up but I don't exactly remember. So after I told him he did get a little forceful, pinning my hands above my head & stuff like that, it was great!

We'll have to see if he behaves himself well enough tonight for me to take him home again :)

weirdness...

2007-09-25T21:59:00.001-07:00

JS called me tonight...

Just to talk...

I'd almost forgotten how easy it was to have a great conversation with someone...

We talked about baseball and football and stuff he has going on with his cousin & friends. We were laughing and talking and it was just so easy.

Something interesting that's sitting in the back of my mind about this whole thing and it's probably nothing, but I know Sat night he & the new girl got into a fight. To the point where they left the bar and he came back without her. By that time I was leaving though so I didn't really get a chance to hang out with him...

So yea...

I really miss talking to him...

TMI #102 & My Weekend

2007-09-25T12:28:00.000-07:00

1. Who did you think you would marry in elementary school?
I don't remember having anyone that I thought I would marry back then... I remember having crushes but not anything to that fantasy degree...

2. Which muppet is your favorite? Why?
I love those two old guys up in the balcony, they're all grouchy and funny and they crack me up!... aside from them, I loved Animal, he was crazy and of course, Kermie.. well, just 'cause he's Kermie :)

3. Which politician would you most like to screw? [For pleasure or revenge]
I don't like & don't follow politics so I've got nothin for ya on this one... for the record, I do vote in every election though

4. How did you first find the g-spot?
not me... I rely on other people to do that ;)

5. What is the best costume you've ever worn?
there was that French Maid's outfit... juuuuust kidding. Huh, ok, I guess when I was in elementary school for a few Halloweens I dressed up as a roller skating majorette... that way I got to wear roller skates for teh whole day at school, that was cool :)

Bonus (as in optional):Does pornography liberate or deteriorate society?
liberate baby! I swear, everybody needs to lighten up when it comes to sex... it's such a natural & fun thing and it's made out to be this taboo thing unless you're married blah, blah, blah.. and god forbid you're a female who sleeps around, then we're gonna call you a slut & look at you sideways while we're whispering under your breath about you...

except when I get you in my bed then you're whispering in my ear that I'm the best you ever had ;)

ok, wow, I got a little ranty there for a sec.... um, yea, I'm all for porn as long as it doesn't interfere with your life and ability to perform with your sig. other.

Happy TMI everyone... sorry I haven't posted in a few days, I drank a whole lot over the weekend for my birthday and spent the last couple recovering.

Friday night I ended up going to the bar, Country Boy was there but I ignored him for the first couple hours & he did the same, then around midnight I had drank enough to go over and tell him what an ass he was and we ended up making up, lol... he came home with me that night & we had some pretty kinky fantastic sex, I ended up showing him my super secret fetish & oh wow!... then the next morning we ended up having sex a bunch more times... it was great!

Sat night, for my birthday I went out to dinner with friends then to the bar. I had a GREAT Time. Country Boy stayed home but came & picked me up & drove me home when I was too drunk to stay there anymore. (Going back and reading my drunk text messages to him is quite amusing)

Sunday night... *sigh* Sunday night was the end of he & I. He sent me a text asking if I'd like to go get a drink with him & I said yes so he came & picked me up. He had already been drnking by that time, it's hard to tell with him how much though. So we go to the bar and he has a few and with every one he turns more & more into an ass. He tried to pick fights with a couple of his friends down there and then he just really started being a dick to me. I was tired & had to work the next morning so I wanted to go home & at first he said he wasn't ready to leave then he said he'd drive me. I told him no, that he wasn't driving, I was going to drive (I was sober)... He refused to let me drive his truck. It just got worse & worse until I ended up going off on him in the bar and getting a ride home from someone else I knew. He did send me a couple texts later and called me a couple times, asking if he could come over but I told him no and that what he did was just so beyond disrespectful and rude and I was done.

What sucks the most is that he's really one of the sweetest, nicest guys you'll ever meet when he's sober but when he's drunk, oh buy, watch out, it's like Jekyll & Hyde...

So, I'm officially not attached to anyone anymore. At least not anyone that I have to worry about getting jealous or upset about the things that I do or who I talk to.

oh, on a side note... DM called me Friday night and was going to come out with me on Sat but ended up flaking... again. It was the first time I've heard his voice in a couple months, he's still damn adorable, I just wish he wasn't so damn flaky!

HNT- little late

2007-09-21T11:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I have drama with the Country Boy but I'm too tired to post all about it today... I think I may be done with him though... After a million drunk text messages and 8 drunk phone calls with hang ups I've had just about enough...

My birthday is tomorrow... woot? At least I don't look my age :)

I usually love my birthday. Every year I throw a party and hang out with my friends and just have a good time. This year I'm still getting together with friends for dinner and drinks but it's going to be the first birthday without my Grandmother plus RD is going to be out of town and that makes me really sad.

So for HNT & in honor of my Bday here is a pic of one of my tattoos, it's the symbol for Virgo on the back of my neck :)

No WW today...

2007-09-19T16:53:00.000-07:00

I just wasn't feeling the questions so what I did instead was to finish off "My 100 things"!

Go me!

So, if you'd like to find out all sorts of stuff about me go check it out... as always, I'd love to hear what you think!

TMI #101

2007-09-18T10:57:00.000-07:00

1. What is one thing a your significant other could do to you to rock your world?
buy me diamonds? hehe... I know you're probably looking for something sexual but really, having a great conversation with me seems to get me every time. You know, one of those that everything just flows and you're smiling and laughing and just communicating on a level all of its own.

2. Which super power (ability to turn invisible, ability to read people's thoughts, or invulnerability) would you take and why?
I think I'd like to be able to fly... that way I could go anywhere I want, whenever I want and not have to worry about paying high airplane ticket fees! hehe

3. Would you rather be tied up or tie someone else up?
tie me up! (please... someone, now! really!) ... I kinda covered this in my last post. I love kink, I love being tied up and letting someone have their way with me. I'm usually in control of what goes on in my life and it's one time that I'm actually almost able to give up that control and that's such a turn on for me.

4. What is your best physical and non physical asset?
hmmm, for physical I'd probably say breasts, eyes or smile... non physical.. well, I'm a very smart girl...

5. If they were naming new Dwarves beyond the seven what would your name be and why?
Kinky Dwarf? ... sorta self explanatory

Bonus: What's the most embarrassing thing you ever bought?
oh hell, I get embarassed buying everything from tampons to condoms... i don't know why... So, every year I go to the SF Gay Pride festival and stock up on the free ones they give out so I don't have to :)

Cravings and kink

2007-09-14T10:00:00.000-07:00

ok, so today I'm having these insane "please-pin-me-up-against-the-wall-have-your-way-with-me-and-fuck-me-hard" cravings and it's driving me crazy... I think It's because I was sex deprived for those 5 weeks and now that I can have sex again my hormones have kicked into overdrive and I want it all the time again.

How do you tell someone, hey can you fuck me hard against a wall or something... that or pin me down on the bed and just dominate me....

I know he'd do it, I can see a wicked streak in him but it both scares and excites me...

You see, I love kinky sex. I love to be tied up, tied down, spanked, hair pulled, blind folded etc... and just plain dominated. Not disrespected though. I'm not a true sub, I can be mighty defiant when asked to do something I don't want to do.

The thing about kinky sex for me is that it's easy to not let emotion get involved so it's *safe* for me. Sure, there's passion and lust but it's all sexual. I won't get butterflies in my tummy from you biting my neck or spanking my ass where I might happen if you were lightly kissing me and running your fingers lightly down my body.

Then we come to boys and kinky sex. Most of the time they're the same way with kinky sex as they are with anal. You let them do it once and they want to do it every frikkin time. Please guys, I do not want your dick in my ass every time we have sex. Every so often if you get me turned on enough, sure, we can go there but if you try to do it all the time I'm just gonna say no and that's gonna be it... and on that same note, I don't want to be tied up or have rough sex every time either. Sometimes the best sex is just taking your time and exploring and being sweet and gentle and just letting the moment overtake you... Let the kinky sex be a sometimes thing so when it does happen it's breathtaking, passionate and just fun.

Which brings me to my dilemma... do I want to take the chance and entice him to let the beast inside of him out with the hopes that he won't over abuse the fun? or do I want to let the sleeping giant stay sleeping?

oops, I almost missed HNT

2007-09-13T14:59:00.000-07:00

shame on me...

I'm a little stressed out at work these days. I can't talk to my boss anymore and it's really frustrating. I call him up and he's always too busy to listen to what I have to say then forgets to call me back. On top of that, he always forgets stuff so I have to remind him multiple times and he gets all pissy when it's something he remembered or something he didn't and he already has alternate plans.

So, needless to say, a few months ago I started having this really weird burning pain in my chest, at first I thought it was my lungs because I have mild asthma but my inhaler didn't help at all. The pain would only last for about an hour or so then go away. Well, about 2 1/2 weeks ago the pain started up again and hasn't stopped since. I was waking up in the middle of the night just wanting to cry it hurt so bad. I tried, I think Tums & Maalox with no results so I emailed my Dctor and he told me to try Pepcid for a week to see what happens. His suspicion is that I have GERD. Whetever it is it hurts and needs to go away, lol.

Anyways, this week for HNT I'm giving RD a little payback for calling me out in my comments (she knows about it) and posting a pic of her in a bra... followed by a couple of me :)
HHNT!!

WW#41... The Naked Truth

2007-09-12T12:29:00.000-07:00

I believe this is my first Wet Wednesday post... go me... If you'd like to play along check it out

1. how thin is TOO thin for you in a lover? is it someone like kate bosworth, posh spice, or mark anthony?
I'm sittin here trying to figure out how exactly to answer this question.... I actually prefer guys with a little meat on their bones. I love big arms & chests, you don't need to have 6-pack abs to impress me. In fact, I'd take the imperfect guy before the perfect guy 9 times out of ten... oh, except I'd take Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp or Vin Diesel any day of the week :) ... I'm the same way with girls, eat a damn cheeseburger... I don't want to see your collarbone or your ribs...

2. how 'large' is too big for you in a lover? (i'm not going to list any names as terms like large, overweight, and big are all part of individual taste - but feel free to list celeb names, etc.)
Just be or be close to height/weight proportionate... even though John Goodman is funny I don't find him sexy...

3. if you were to get a new lover and this weekend was your first time having sex with them. how would you feel about them seeing you nude? is a look in the mirror in the buff cringe-worthy, or are you lookin' pretty damn good?

oh, I cringe, lol.... and it really all depends on the guy, what they like and how comfortable they make you feel about yourself.

Happy Hump Day... I wish many orgasms to all!!!!

TMI #100

2007-09-11T11:47:00.000-07:00

Happy TMI!

Come play!

1. Where was the first place you ever had sex?
heh... in a bathroom in a bench... like the bathrooms they have at the swimming pool of an apartment complex... not very romantic, I know... I just wanted to have sex!

2. Does size matter? (open to interpretation boys and girls)
I'd like to say no but lets be honest, of course it does. You've gotta be able to feel it and it's gotta feel good! and... there really is such a thing as too big!

3. Have you ever had sex in your office or your place of employment?
no, but good lord that would be hot...

4. Ever been skinny dipping?
yes, not for many, many years though... oh, except naked hot tubbing earlier this year

5. Top or bottom?
top or bottom what??

Bonus: Where were you September 11, 2001? What were you doing when you first heard about the twin towers?
I remember getting in my bar to go to work and the radio was on and the DJ's were chatting about something and I didn't really want to listen so I put a cd in. Then when I walked into work everyone was looking at the news on the internet and talking about what happened. I didn't really comprehend the magnitude of it until a few minutes later we watched the 2nd plane fly into the 2nd tower... then I was speechless and so, so sad. I'm not religious and I don't ever go to church but one of my friends/co-workers at the time was and later that day I went with him to church to pray and light a candle for everyone involved that day.

So much for doctors orders...

2007-09-10T17:04:00.001-07:00

and damn he was persistent....

yes, I had sex this weekend

It was great

damnit

but really... Friday night I let Country Boy come home with me, nothing happened that night but the next morning he did the whole kissing me all over teasing thing until I let him get my panties off for some fantastic oral... ok, he knows I can't have sex yet but damn if this boy isn't good at the art of seduction. After I came he laid down behind me spooning me and wrapped his arms around me. He was kinda kissin on my neck and back a bit and was hard so he put his cock between my legs. Being all wet from the orgasm a few minutes prior, it slid between them pretty easily. He didn't try to put it inside me at first, he was just moving back & forth, rubbin on my clit and teasing the heck out of me...so of course he got me to the point where when he finally did slide inside me I didn't say no... and omg, wow did that feel good. He went slow (at first) and kept checking to make sure he wasn't hurting me, it was sweet...

There's more but that's all I'm gonna share right now... I still have mixed feelings about him. His persistence is starting to wear me down but I'm not ready to give up being single quite yet. I'm having so much fun in my life without one specific someone. Plus, I still get a little sad everytime I see JS and it's not fair to bring anyone else into my life while I'm still doing that.

So, for now I'll have fun with it and continute to be open and honest about what i'm feeling and just kinda go from there.

OOC

2007-09-07T10:49:00.001-07:00

Here, let me translate...

Out
Of
Control

yep, that's me.

Last night around six Country Boy was text messaging me and said he was down at the bar and could he buy me a drink or two. At first I said no but gave in and decided to go down there around nine. He bought me a drink and we sat down across from each other at a table a little ways away from the bar. He was in the booth part and I was in a chair across from him, kinda sideways so I could see what was going on behind me at the pool tables & bar. The friend he was there with sat in a chair near where I was. So, the three of us were chattin about this & that when this girl came over, sat down next to him and started talking to him. His friend immediately got up and went over to the pool tables and I kinda turned sideways so I wouldn't be all up in their conversation.

The music was loud and I don't hear very well plus he's not my boyfriend and what he does in his life is really none of my business but I could hear that she was trying to get him to go home with her. He kept telling her no and she was asking why and he wouldn't tell her. I know that was more for my sake than anything, he knows I want space and for him to take his time so he's not gonna tell someone that he's there with me or anything assumptive like that. So the girl then said something about him asking her to come down there & he replied saying it was to hang out nothing more. She also mentioned something about him kissin up on her earlier in the night and then asked if I was the reason he didn't want to leave with her... luckily around that time the bartender, who is a friend of mine, came walking by and saw the look on my face and figured out what was going on so she came over and stood right next to me and struck up a conversation until that girl got the hint and left to go sit back at the bar.

You'd think that was it right? Not so much. Like 2 minutes after the bartender left the girl came back over and leaned down to talk to him. At this point I was done with the b.s. so I just stood up without a word and walked away, on over to the bar. I wasn't watching but when I got to the bar I was told as soon as I got up to walk away he got up and walked outside, leaving her there. The girl ended up leaving altogether not too much later and he came back inside. He then came over to where I was kissed my hand & said he was really sorry about all that and would I like to come sit with him at the bar. I agreed and we went over and sat down.

He ended up playing pool with the friend he was there with and between shots we kinda talked. Then the strangest thing happened that kinda pissed me off a little bit... It was close to 11(my bedtime) and I had finished my drink so I was thinkin about maybe going home soon but he asked if he could buy me another. I figured I'd have one more with him then go home. Oh no.... I got my drink, he paid for it then said he was leaving... wtf.... After all the asking all week for me to hang out with him, I finally give in and do it then he decides to leave me... by myself... with a full drink... at the bar.... He knew I was pissed too, and know what he said to me as he was leaving... just trying to give you your space so you'll want me more.

son of a...

you know what... it effin worked

I was so mad that not even five minutes after he left I got up, left my full drink on the bar and went home. I sent him a bitchy text message and of course he sent a nice one back.. we ended up trading text messages and I finally calmed down then around 12:30 we finally got to him asking if he could come over & make it up to me... what was I gonna say, no? :) The whole oral sex through the panties thing is so erotic... this time tough, he did manage to talk me into letting him take them off... and oh my god... this boy has some skills.... he's perfect with the gentle teasing at first then knows when to apply more pressure and speed later... none of that hard sucking that I just don't like... gotta be gentle with me :)

I told RD not to let me take him home Saturday night when we go there...

I refuse to let his persistence wear me down...

boy issues, I need a new job and some HNT

2007-09-06T11:06:00.000-07:00

I didn't want to take away from my weekend story(cause it really was damn hot!) but my country boy is actually driving me crazy... and not the good kind of crazy.

This poor boy has such a huge crush on me and wants more from me than I want to or am willing to give and I feel kinda bad about it. I keep telling him, and have been telling him from the beginning that I need space and that I'm not ready for anything serious right now. He knows, but I have to keep reminding him, that it was only a week ago I stopped seeing someone I really liked. He text messages me all the time, which I don't mind, the problem is that every day he asks me out. I usually side-step it by saying something about him being persistent but yesterday I was done with all that. I told him it would be nice for once to have a conversation with him that doesn't include him asking me out.... In my experience that would've pushed most guys away, but not him.. he replied "I can do that"

He's too nice for me...

I want a nice guy but I want someone who is going to stand up to me and take the lead and be my partner, not my pet.

One thing he really doesn't have working in his favor is that I'm a Virgo and he's an Aquarius. Don't get me wrong, I love Aquarius, both my sister and RD fall under that sign and they are some of the sweetest people around, it's just not the right sign for a Virgo to be in a relationship with...

Here's something I found about the compatability...

VirgoWoman & Aquarius Man
This is not a very good match for either one of you. You may be drawn to the Aquarius boy because he shares with you an intellectual, logical way of looking at the world. However, he is also a dreamer who spends a lot of his time theorizing about the future and chasing wild ideas tosee where they lead. Meanwhile, you’re stuck doing all the practical stuff. He’s the type of guy, with you, who will try to get you to do his homework so he can figure out how to reconfigure his computer. You’ll feel used, and you’ll get extremely frustrated at his head-in-the-sky behaviour, but you won’t be able to change him. A difficult match that’s better left unmade.

This unlikely combo can be filled with plenty of activity and adventure. Virgo girl is intrigued by Aquarius boy's far-flung ideas and downright dreaminess. Just remember, Virgo, that not everyone can be as organized and with—it as you, so cut your guy a break when he's not as quick as you are!

I told RD I'd give it a try though, just to see what happens... and I have been... I just don't have any of that spark like I had with JS or even DM.... it sucks it couldn't be just a casual thing 'cause based on last weekend I think he'd be a lot of fun in bed...

On a different note... I need a new job.

I used to love my job but now I'm no longer having any fun at it and I don't look forward to coming to work anymore. I can't get any time off because there's no one to cover my shifts and I've been working 10hr+ days with no additional compensation (I'm the manager & salaried). Plus I have a lot of resentment towards my boss for having me work and not being very compassionate after my surgery.

So, of all things, I think I've decided that I want to go and be a Bartender. Everyone I mention it to thinks I'd be really great at it and that it's the perfect job for me. I'm such a night and social person and it just seems like my kind of thing. It just seems like something I'd have fun doing. I'm going to wait until after my birthday and after I'm all healed and I'm going to look into doing it.

ok, so it's I don't have a pic of my Fredericks shoes this week but I haven't forgotten! Hopefully you're not tired of my lips or my eyes yet!

Hear No Evil

Speak No Evil

See No Evil

HHNT!!

what a weekend... oops.. and some TMI

2007-09-04T16:49:00.000-07:00

ok, so if I was a guy right now I'd be typing "I swear, I don't know how to keep my dick in my pants"... oh wait... I typed it anyways... You'd even think me having surgery would keep my pants on since I'm not allowed to have sex for 2 more weeks...

yea right, nice try...

So, Friday night I had actually planned on staying home and finishing up an online course that I had to take but my best guy friend called to say he and his wife were on their way to the bar and I should meet them there. Now how could I say no to that :) So I go, we drink & have a blast and then things get kinda fuzzy.

I know the country boy showed up while my friends were still there and was watching me from across the bar because onbe of my friends kept commenting on it. I know that after my friends left at some point I ended up going to talk to him and I was at the bar till it closed. I know he drove me home and my drunk ass ended up inviting him in...

d'oh...

We didn't really do much that night, I was so tired I just wanted to fall asleep. He did ask for a kiss though and we ended up making out and he ended up kissing me all over. He knew I couldn't have sex yet but damn that boy if he didn't keep trying to get down my panties, lol. I kept having to tell him no and push him away because I'm still healing and still had a couple sutures... did he give up, oh no... instead while kissing me he took his hand and lightly over my panties stroked my clit until I came... after that he conceded and took me into his arms and I fell asleep (passed out)

does it end there?

oh no...

So the next morning I wake up to him running his fingers down my arm and my back, he gave me a back massage then kissed the back of my neck, down my back, my butt, the backs of my legs and my feet... I had chills running up & down my whole body, it was incredible... he turned me over and did the same thing down the front... kissing and running his tongue down my neck, my breasts, my tummy, my thighs, knees, calves, ankles & feet... on his way down he tried to stop at my panties and I pushed him away so sneaky thing he was.... from my feet he started to move back up kissing and tickling to my thighs where he slowly ran his tongue up my inner thigh just to the edge of my panties then went across to the other side and did the same. He did this a few times until I was very much turned on then as he was moving from one side to the other he'd run his tongue across my panties over my clit... as you can imagine it only took a couple times of doing that before I wasn't pushing him away any more. He then proceeded to lick me through my panties, playing with my clit with his tongue... it was actually one of the more erotic things I've experienced. When I came, I came hard...

I let him stay with me Sat night also ;)

It's gonna be an issue though... he really likes me and I'm not looking for anything more than fun... kinda sucks cause I think he'd be really fun in bed...

Now for some TMI!

1. What did you eat for dinner yesterday?
meatloaf & salad.. yum

2. How much cash is in your purse/wallet right now?
none, it's all in my pocket

3. What have you done to avoid being flirted with by someone you didn't like?
Try to find a nice way out of the conversation and if that doesn't work I'll usually make some rude-ish comment to try to help them get the picture...

4. Do you believe the theory "Once a cheater always a cheater"?
In my experience it's usually true but I do believe that people can change if they really want to.

5. Describe your sex life in two words.
fun & interesting

Bonus (as in optional): Would you/have you ever paid money for sex?
nope, no need ;)

Next!

2007-08-30T12:54:00.000-07:00

A while back RD found this really good article about breaking up and moving on and we've sort of adopted one of the points from it..

I will learn to say "next!"
Plain and simple, the world is full of men. Everywhere you turn, there's a man. Look — there goes one now! A wise woman once told me that men are like city buses: If you miss one, there will always be another. I decided that, from now on, I would not assign any man too much meaning too early on. I am not going to worry that I won't find "it" again. I will not worry that I'll end up in a rocking chair surrounded by cats
and empty wine bottles. I will remember that there will always be another.

Speaking of there always being another, I already have someone calling & texting me trying to get me to go out with him. Sheesh, I haven't even been single 5 minutes, I need room to breathe people! Besides, I'm not really a one guy kind of girl... How do I break that to a country boy who I've apparently got "hypnotized" as he puts it... *sigh* His crush is probably my fault though, everytime I've seen him I've been drinking and I get really flirty when I drink... oops!

RD and I went shopping at Fredericks of Hollywood the other day and I bought these really sexy lacy heels... I'm at work or I'd take a picture to post for today, I'll have to remember to do that when I'm there... for today, you get the shirt I'm wearing.. it's kinda hard to read but it says "My Pad or Yours"

HHNT!

Sometimes I hate being right... and happy TMI

2007-08-28T09:43:00.000-07:00

So JS and I are officially done.

I knew something was up, I could feel it. I had called him on Wednesday and left a message and for the first time since we've met he didn't call back. So I called him again early Friday evening & he answered, I asked him if he had plans that night & he said he did so I asked if he had an hour to come talk to me because I think we needed to, he agreed that we needed to talk but that he was on his way out & didn't have time to that night so he'd call me when he woke up the next morning & come over then. ok, that's all fine & dandy.

RD was out of town & I decided I didn't want to sit home by myself so I went down to the bar, didn't see his car anywhere so I went in. I'd say I was there at least an hour before I kinda see the door open behind me & 2 people walk in, next thing I know he's tapping me on the shoulder asking if he can talk to me outside as I see a girl come in & go sit down at the end of the bar.

So I go outside and the conversation goes something like this:

him: so there's no easy way to say this but I'm seeing someone else

me: yea, no shit, ya think

him: I'm really sorry, this isn't the way I wanted you to find out, I didn't think you were here, I looked but didn't see your car.

me: what happened to you being a nice guy and not bringing a girl to this bar even if you had met someone.

him: I'm sorry, what do you want me to do.

me: leave, just leave, take her & get out of here, call me and come over tomorrow morning & we'll talk and maybe be able to stay friends but I'm not gonna talk to you here right now.

him: ok, I can do that.

So, we go back inside, I go sit down, he walks over to her, I guess she had ordered them drinks while we were outside cause they were just being set down. Anyways, not even a minute later they get up, full drinks on the bar and leave.

I thought that was a pretty stand up thing of hn to do.

So, the next morning he calls and comes over and we talk. He tells me she is someone he's known for a long time but hasn't seen in a few years and ran into her last week. He's had feelings for her for a long time and almost left his wife for her back in the day and she almost left her boyfriend but they both decided not to. So now that he's not married & she's single he'd hate himself if he passed up the opportunity to be with her. I told him I couldn't fault him for that but the way I found out was wrong. He had no business bringing her to that bar without me knowing about her first because one of two things were going to happen. Either he was going to walk in with her while I was there, which he did or I would walk in there and see it in everybody's eyes, them wondering "does she know?".

He said he could see my point and that I was right and that he was really sorry and it was s tupid thing to do without talking to me first. I guess she hadn't known about me either, after they left she asked him what was up & he told her that we had been seeing each other, she said she could understand why because she thought I was beautiful (damnit, can't I just hate her) and he agreed with her. He told me the whole thing was just weird because usually when he ends a relationship with someone it's because something is wrong but not with me, he really likes me and we have a lot of fun together and there was nothing wrong with *us*, just this girl has had his heart for a long time. I told him it was ok and that he has to do what he has to do and that we'll stay friends.

People keep telling me I'm too nice & I let him get off to easy.

I guess I figure if I were in his position I would do the same thing. I would've handled it differently of course, but I would've followed my heart.

I've seen them together at the bar twice since then. They were there Saturday night & last night. He was nice both times. He's come over & talk to me and buy me a drink. He said he wasn't going to be all touchy feely and kissing on her around me and he hasn't been so far.

So yea, that's where JS and I are at... bummer, I really liked him...

moving on...

Happy TMI!!

1. What is the best relationship advice you've ever received?
heh... "don't fall for him" damnit, I should've listened...

2. How many people have you dated at once? How many people do you think
it is acceptable to date at once?
have I mentioned I'm terrible at dating? I'm usually just having sex with people & as long as you're honest and safe with the people you're sleeping with I don't think there really is an acceptable number. Just whatever works for you.

3. What made your worst kiss so bad?
omg, that boy had no clue what he was doing... he was all slobbery tongue and like... I don't even know how to explain it.. he was "poking" me with his tongue and like trying to suck my face off. It's the only person I've had to tell to calm down and go slower... didn't hook up with him again...

4. Can a relationship last if the sex is bad?
How bad are we talking and is it fixable? I think bad sex will definitely put a strain on a relationship but as long as both parties are willing to work on it you can always make sex better!

5. What one thing would you like your partner to do every time you have
sex with them?
every time? mmmmm.... kiss my neck

Bonus (as in optional): What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
it's all in the eyes... how you look at them followed by the smile ;)

Back in the Saddle

2007-08-23T19:12:00.000-07:00

I've been able to go around & catch up on some reading today and over on AR's blog she had a little survey and I'm a sucker for these things so I thought I'd play along.. so if you're reading, play along too and let me know you did so I can come read!

*What side of the heart do you draw first?
The left side.

*Can you dive without plugging your nose?
I used to be able to, been a while since I tried

*What color is your phone?
home phone is black & silver, cell phone is black

*Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
hmm, some really interesting hot guy who wouldn't annoy me... that would be a cool way to get to know someone (maybe?)

*Where are you right now?
home

*How do you feel about carrots?
I like them.. when I quit smoking 5yrs ago is chewed on baby carrots like they were going out of style, I credit them with helping me to quit.

*How many chairs at the dining room table?
4.

*Who is the best Spice Girl?
hmmm.. I always liked Mel C.

*Do you know what time it is?
7:18pm (I'm on a computer, of course I know the time)

*What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
play games, surf the internet & text people on my phone... please let me be stuck with a hot guy though for some elevator sex!

*What's your favorite kind of gum?
Stride, the new peppermint flavor

*T or F: All is fair in love and war?
no, getting lied to and deceived is not fair at all

*Do you use words that you don't know the meaning to?
oh hell no.. I am not going to look stupid

*Do you like to sleep?
I used to like it a lot more than I do now. I like sleeping with someone for the cuddling aspect. By myself, I'll usually get up when I wake up

*Do you know which US states don't use Daylight Savings?
Yes. :D Arizona and Hawaii.

*Do you know the song Sugar We're Goin' Down?
I do, good song

*Do you want a bright yellow '06 mustang?
no... yellow should not be the color of cars

*What's something you've always wanted?
permanence

*Do you wear a lot of black?
not as much as I used to but I still wear a good amount

*Describe your hair.
about to my bra strap, kinda wavy, reddish brown with lots of blonde highlights

*Are you an adult?
By age yes.

*Who is/are your best friends?
RD

*Do you have a tan?
Nah.

*Are you a television addict?
I don't know that I'm an addict but I do have a lot of shows that I watch. Plus I live alone so I find myself watching it to pass the time a lot.

*Do you enjoy spending time with your mom?
Depends on what we're doing.

*Are you a sugar freak?
nope, I rarely eat anything with sugar in it

*What is your favorite movie?
Moulin Rouge

*What's your sign?
Virgo!

*Where do you wish you were right now?
anywhere but my apartment.. I have cabin fever

*Who did you copy this from?
AR

*How do you know them?
The bloggy world.

*Would you have sex with them?
well.. I don't really know her, lol

*What brand of shirt are you wearing?
I have no idea.. something with 2 frogs on it & it says "My Pad or Yours?"

*Have you ever smoked anything?
Yep.

Sorry, no HNT pics today, I forgot to take one while I was at work today.. .next week!

Color Change...

2007-08-22T20:13:00.000-07:00

I lightened up the background & changed the text a bit (I'm still trying to decide if I like it so any and all input is welcome)... If anyone is still having any problems with seeing my blog please let me know and I'll do my best to fix it up right!

I haven't forgot about anyone! My bloglines is piling up with unread posts that I promise I will get to!! I just haven't been around reading blogs yet this week. I haven't had much of an attention span since my surgery plus my laptop died over the weekend so I don't have it sitting in front of me in the evenings right now... should have a new one by next week!

Also, if anyone has a link to me on their blog and I don't have a visible link to yours, please let me know and I will be sure and add you!

Hope everyone had a great hump day and that someone out there got laid for me!

Back! and Happy TMI!

2007-08-21T12:05:00.000-07:00

So, my surgery went well... What is was is that I had a cyst removed from the girl parts. In case you're interested, searching around on the internet the closest thing I've found that describes what I had is a Gartner's Cyst. I only had one minior complication that ended me up back in the ER Friday night. I guess the empty space where they removed the cyst from had filled up with fluid & blood and me getting up & walking around caused it to leak out of my sutures. Holy cow that hurt, I thought I had torn my stitches. It all turned out ok though :)

OMG... My sex drive is back! How crazy is that! Without that stupid cyst down in my vaginal area pressing against everything, my parts are all ready to rock & roll! Too bad I'm not supposed to do anything for like 4 weeks :(

I think JS and I are on the outs anyways though so it's all good.
It's just a feeling I have. I think I'm ok with it. Yes, I have a big crush on him but I'm not that emotionally invested in the whole thing. Plus, he's just not in a space in his life where he's ready for something serious and I'm not sure I am either. Don't get me wrong, I think he and I would be great together and really happy and if right now we can hold on to each other and make it through this maybe somewhere down the road we can be together but right now, it's just bad timing.

OH! I'm so proud of RD! I swear, all of a sudden she and I have switched places. Here I am sleeping with one boy and here she is going out to hook up with a COUPLE that she met on the internet. Plus like 2 other guys! (One she slept with, one she didn't) She's always been too afraid to actually go out and do it and I keep telling her that it's something she needs to do. Go out, experience life and your sexuality, have fun, break away from the ties that bind you to past people! I think she's finally starting to understand...

DM sent me a text the other night, he wanted to know why I wasn't out with him, lol... I told him about my surgery, he was really sweet and asked if there was anything he could do... I tell you what, I know what he can do after I'm all healed ;)

and now for some TMI!

1. What’s the deal with blue balls?
um, isn't that when a guy gets all hot & bothered and doesn't get a release? I believe I've been guilty of inflicting that a time or three...

2. What is the hottest vehicular sex scene in a movie?
I'm not recalling one on my own so from that list I'll have to pick Titanic... She lost her virginity, in a car.. on a ship.. hiding from people.. to a hot guy- what a rush

3. Strap-on? yes, no, give, receive?
hahaha... never received but might consider it, I did give one time... do you know that strap-on spelled backwards is no-parts ;)

4. What is the average penis length?
I *think* it's around 6"

5. How do you stimulate his prostate? Guys, do you like it?
a finger up the ass? and yes, they like it, if they say no they're lying or too scared to try ;)

Bonus (as in optional): Confession Tuesday... tell me a secret!
hmmmm... I don't think I currently have any secrets to tell...

HNT

2007-08-16T15:58:00.000-07:00

Here we are again, another , yay!

I have a lot on my mind but I'm not very talkative today... not feeling well also, and I'm having minor surgery done tomorrow. So you'll just have to bare with me till I get through it.

After tomorrow though... things should be SO much better physically and this weekend I plan on resolving the emotional stuff as well.

I want my sex drive back, damnit!

oh yea.. I started blogging about that the other day but never finished. Yep, lost my sex drive... not horny even a little bit. I even read some erotic stories the other day and nothin. I'm sure with just the right touch from a boy somethin could happen but it isn't happenin on its own. I know it has a lot to do with the reason I'm having the surgery tomorrow but I also know it has a little to do with my emotional state right now so I'm just waiting for it to pass.

I tell you what though once that's fixed, I don't care if it's JS, DM, or some random guy in a bar... I'm havin some hot, sweaty, please go down on me & make me cum all night long, sex... that's all there is to it :)

So, in honor of HNT here is.... uh, my foot :P

damn you TMI

2007-08-14T11:51:00.000-07:00

Todays TMI talking about infidelity and such has really got me dwelling on something that happened over the weekend that I have got to get out in the open before I drive myself crazy.

On Friday night I went to the bar and JS was already there and was talking to another girl. It was a really awkward situation that actually turned out to be all good once I was told she was just a friend. Apparently she's going through a break up and is sleeping on Js's couch for a few days while she finds a place. I have since hung out with her and found out she's a really cool girl and my mind is now at ease.

That night though everything was weird and the two of them left early while I stayed at the bar drinking with some other friends. After my friends left I ended up hanging out buddy of JS who's usually there. Not a bad guy, he does spend most of his time in a bar, usually drunk, but I was cool with him keeping me company that night.

One more thing I should add here before I go any further and this is the reason for most of the guilt I feel and the reason why my stomach is in knots while I'm putting this in my blog knowing she's going to find out when she reads it instead of hearing it from me... This guy is someone who RD has been kissing the past couple weekends. She doesn't like him as anything serious, she won't ever sleep with him and definately won't date him but she has kissed him a few times.

Which leads me to what happened.

After JS and the girl left I proceeded to drink... a lot. I got fairly drunk and was having a good time then at one point the friend asked me to come with him behind the building so he could get stoned. Now that was all fine & dandy, i don't smoke weed but don't really care if anyone else does. So, I went outside with him and we were sittin back there talkin, and it must have been about JS because he tells me that I'm really beautiful and JS was stupid for going home and leaving me there and if he was JS he never would have done it. Then he asks if he can kiss me, just once. I tell him no, he can't.. and then he tries it anyways... with tongue no less! I didn't kiss him back, I even closed my mouth in a way that he wouldn't ruin my lipstick. So nothing happened but I'm still trippin on it.

I know RD doesn't like him as anything more than a guy she kissed but I don't want her to feel betrayed that it happened. JS and I don't have any type of commitment so even if I had kissed this guy it wouldn't have been cheating or anything but I still feel guilty for it. In a way I think he should know what type of a person his "buddy" is that he'd go around kissing his girl but at the same time I don't want to be the person who comes between friends. This guy also worries me because there was already one issue that happened with him a few weeks ago where he told me something hurtful that supposedly JS had said that turned out to not be accurate. I don't want the situation this time to be him telling JS something that I supposedly said or did and have it not be accurate. The four of us are also supposd to go to a baseball game this weekend and I don't want to screw that up.

Good lord, I hate drama and I hate being conflicted. If there's anything that's going to cause JS and I to not work out it's going to be everybody else trying to be involved in it.

TMI #96

2007-08-14T09:48:00.000-07:00

1. Define "infidelity" as it relates to a relationship.
ooo.. touchy subject for me. I think infidelity can be defined differently for every relationship you're in depending on the level of trust you have with your partner and the boundaries you have set with one another. Definately something like having sex with another person, oral, kissing, that type of stuff is off limits but also something like holding hands while having an intimate conversation could be a little unnerving and create some doubt and tension in the relationship. I guess that all goes back to comfort level though... and seriously, if you want to be with someone else then please just break up with me first!
Have you ever been guilty of infidelity?
no.. I could never emotionally or morally bring myself to do something like that.

Have you ever been the victim of infidelity?
ug, yes... all but one boyfriend physically cheated on me and that one did it emotionally...

Have you ever been a participant in someone else's infidelity?
unfortunately, I have to say yes... I have dated two married men.. I'm not proud of it

2. What is the last thing you stole?
haha... I want to say someone's heart but really, I can't recall what the last thing I stole was...

3. Name one place in your country that you have never been but would like to visit and why.
I have to limit this to one place?? ok, New York.... I'm a silly romantic and I love movies and NY always comes across as this romantic place to me. Plus, it's a place with a lot of history and some fantastic things to see.

4. What movies can you watch over and over again?
Moulin Rouge, Highlander, Sweet Home Alabama, Top Gun, X-Men (all), Independance Day, Armageddon, Underworld I & II, Empire Records, Legend

I could go on & on :)

5. Who is the last person you saw naked?
JS

Bonus (as in optional): In honor of the 237 reasons we have sex study. Tell us at least five but not more than ten reason you have had sex.
I wanted to experiment with new experiences.
I was "horny."
I was attracted to the person.
I was sexually aroused and wanted the release.
I wanted to show my affection to the person.
I desired emotional closeness (i.e. intimacy).
I was in love

ok fine

2007-08-11T14:07:00.000-07:00

I've got some stuff going through my mind about me & JS but RD won't let me blog about it just yet.

Which, I don't blame her, she made a good point earlier when she said I tend to hurt myself before I let someone hurt me so that way it's easier for me when it happens. But now she has me wondering if maybe I'm the one who sabotages my relationships....

That's why I'm "casual sex girl"... it's so much easier

oh, on a side note... DM sent me a text last night, apparently he isn't as gone as I thought he was...

Ouch

2007-08-10T12:37:00.001-07:00

Warning- this post is not sexy in any little way (well, except a little at the end)

This is getting really annoying and excuse me while I get all Gyno on you for a bit. So a few weeks ago during sex he went deep and apparently hit my cervix. Yea, I know you guys get all proud when you bottom out but holy mother effin ow. It caused everything down there to cramp up and it's been cramped ever since. I felt like I wanted to throw up. Now, this has happened before, with other people, in the past but the pain usually goes away in a couple hours... not this time. It'll be 3 weeks tomorrow since it started hurting.

I did email my OBG a few days ago to tell him about it but all he did was send in a script for Vicodin for me. So, hmm.. let me find a time to take the Vicodin when I'm not working with money or out drinking...plus, isn't that only going to mask the pain and not get rid of it or find the cause of it?

Fourtunatly, in my web surfing, I've found that I'm not the only person who has experienced this problem so I figure if everything is still cramped next week, I'll email my primary care Dr. and see what he says.

Aside from all that, RD just messaged me and said she's not going out tonight.. wtf :( She doesn't want to come to the party tomorrow night either so that means I won't get to hang out with her this weekend except probably a bit tomorrow when I come visit her at work and then at my Grandmothers Memorial on Sunday.

Well, since I rambled on about gyno stuff the least I can do is leave you with a pic

Have a Good weekend, may everyone get laid! (I sure plan on it!)

HNT

2007-08-09T10:50:00.000-07:00

Here we are again, another Thursday, another day closer to Friday and Saturday... yay!

Plans for this weekend are Friday I'm going to try & talk RD into coming to the bar with me (I'm usually successful)...that should be a blast. Saturday JS and I are going to a party being given by one of my friends and Sunday is my Grandma's Memorial.

Friday RD has said she'll go but she has given me direct orders that I'm not to allow her to kiss any ugly boys that night.

Yea, RD is a kissing bandit... get a few drinks in her and you'll find her kissing someone in any number of places.. the bathroom, the parking lot, behind the building...etc. I even caught her in my car in the parking lot one time with some guy... I have to keep my eye on her, she's effin Houdini, if I turn my back on her she's gone.

As for me, Until JS I had this rule about kissing at the bar.. it was not happening. Me being casual sex girl never wanted any guys to see me kissing someone else in case they were the guy I ended up trying to hook up with the next night or weekend. But, that was a different bar and JS and I met at a bbq thrown by one of the bartenders of the current bar I hang out at. We've also spent a bunch of time in the bar together so people associate us with each other anyways so that rule has kinda just been thrown out the window... plus I really like kissing him :) I know, I know.. it's tacky, get a room

Annnnnyways... here's a little pic for ya all... Happy HNT!

Hanging by a moment

2007-08-08T14:20:00.000-07:00

I've never been all that great at writing or storytelling... Math & Science were my thing. I've always been told that I "write the way I talk" which, I don't necessarily think is bad.. it's just how it is. I can't really do fiction and my non-fiction is just how I think in my head.

Anyways, where I'm going with this is that I wanted to write up another story about another incredible moment I had this past weekend but I'm not finding the words to do it but I'll give it a shot...

I can only describe it as one of the most beautiful, sensual, incredible sexual moments I've ever had. Like I think about it now and get tingles in my body.

I love kissing this boy.

We started off on the couch again, this time we made it through the movie, it was 300 and he hadn't seen it before. Of course though, anytime we're in close proximity of one another we can't stop kissing so there was kissing throughout and as soon as the credits rolled he took my face in his hands and gave me a long, sweet sensual kiss followed by more sweet kisses. He asked me if I wanted to go to bed and I said yes so he again held out his hand and I followed him back to the bedroom, stopping once to kiss in the hallway because we couldn't make it that long being without.

Since we had been watching a movie all the lights in the house were off so we both undressed in the dark and slipped into bed.

He lay down beside me and took his hand and brushed it across my cheek then leaned down to kiss me again, his hand traveling down my body, caressing my breasts, over my belly then down between my legs, fingers sliding in feeling how wet I was. He knew I didn't need a lot of foreplay that night, I just wanted him so he climbed up on top, still kissing me and slowly slid in.

This is where I experienced one of the most incredible things I've ever felt... he started sliding in & out at a steady slow pace but not just straight in & out, it ws kind of from one side to the other, and at the same time he was giving me all these beautiful kisses. He must've kissed me a hundred times. He kissed my lips, my cheeks, my neck, my shoulders, my chest all over those areas he kept planting sweet kisses while keeping the same rhythm sliding in & out of me. It was incredible. I was absolutely breathless and lost in that moment.

I swear, if you can make love without being in love, this was what it feels like.

TMI #95

2007-08-07T10:06:00.000-07:00

1. What is the worst/corniest pick up line someone has used on you and/or you used?
I honestly can't recall an answer to this... Probably the whole... "Got any Irish in you?" ..No.. "Want some?"

2. Have you ever gone out on a date with someone and went home with someone else? Explain.
haha, no.. well, not really... The other night I was hanging out with JS at the bar and he went home earlier than me, I stuck around, ended up talking to this other guy who ended up buying me drinks & driving me home, he just dropped me off though... from the moment he sat down next to me I told him there was someone else and nothing was gonna happen... he was cool with that & we had a good time.

3. What is the worst thing (spread a rumor, hook up with their SO, etc...) that you did to a friend? Did they do anything to deserve it?
In High School I ended up dating my best friends ex... it wasn't maliciously done or anything. She was a little weird about it at first but it all worked out fine and we stayed friends and still are friends to this day.

4. What is your favorite sex scene in a regular movie (not porn)? Why?
hands down, the sex scene in 300... that has got to be the most erotic sex scene I've ever seen!
5. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? What would you change on your SO?
hmmm... for me, I wish I could worry about things less and just take them as they are going to come and be happy with it... but I'm a Virgo andf I always feel like I need to be in control of everything in my life. For him, I wish he would just let go and be ok and happy with the direction his life is trying to go and not worry about what he thinks everyone else expects of him in his situation...

Bonus (as in optional): What countries, other than your own, have you had sex in? Was it someone on the trip with you? Someone from that country?
sadly, I've only had sex in the US... someday though!

My Sexual Style... hmmmm

2007-08-06T14:37:00.000-07:00

Found this over on ATLLG's blog, kinda interesting and actually, fairly accurate... I'm a romantic and I tend to be the submissive one so I can see how soft scored highest... It interests me that Violent scored so high though...

You scored as Soft, You are nice and soft, you love everyone and everyone loves you, while you are fiery or too exciting, you are always pleasant.

Soft

81%

Hot

75%

Violent

63%

Exciting

63%

Sweet

50%

Wet

50%

Shy

13%

Awkward

What is your sexual style?
created with QuizFarm.com

So you know who they are...

2007-08-06T12:16:00.000-07:00

On RD's blog she has a little section she calls "The Cast" that details out who it is that she's referring to in her posts. I think it's a really good idea so this is going to be my "The Cast" post.

RD (aka Tori)
My best girl friend and partner in crime. You can usually find us in a bar a couple times a week chillin and looking for cute boys. We've been known to kiss and had that foursome that one time...

JS
A boy I was dating for a minute, we broke up because he reconnected with an old flame and couldn't pass up the chance to try with her. He's adorable, I still have feelings for him and we're still friends. He was the inspiration for a few of my stories (1, 2, 3)

D (aka DM)
A guy I hooked up with a couple times back in June. We had some fun but he's way too flaky for me. Great fun in bed though.

Country Boy (aka CB)
A guy I met and hooked up with one weekend, that turned into a couple weeks of fantastic sex but he came with a lot of drama and wanted more from me then I was ready to give.

Whew

2007-08-03T10:01:00.000-07:00

boy, has it been a long week... I can't wait to have a couple days off just to play :)

I wanted to take a sec and thank everyone for the recent comments, it makes me happy that people are enjoying what I write. If anyone has or would like to put a link to me on their blog please let me know and I will do the same for you.

That being said, I guess I really should give you all the 411 on the strap-on mention.

A few years back I was sleeping with this guy Jason. He was a kinky fucker and loved to tie me up and do all sorts of nasty things. It was great :) Soooo, he tells me that one of his fantasies is to have a girl do him with a strap-on. um, ok... well, he was doin everything for me so I figured I'd help him fulfill one of his fantasies. So he brings it over, nothing flasy and the penis part wasn't all that big, maybe 4". So, well, then, yea.. I did him with it...

I'll spare you the details but let me tell you, this was the strangest/oddest/weirdest thing I have probably ever done. Not only do I tend to be submissive but I'm a girl so I'm used to being the one receiving. So, being in control and doing a guy was a really weird feeling for me. Scary almost, to have been in that position of power. It's something I don't regret doing and will probably never do again and I'm glad to have had the experience.

So yea, in a nutshell that's the strap-on story ;)

HNT

2007-08-02T14:16:00.000-07:00

Happy HNT!

I love going around & looking what people have to posts on Thursdays, very entertaining :)

Here's a pic for ya.. it's not half-nekkid or even partially-nekkid but it'll just have to do!

Wet Wednesday!

2007-08-01T15:24:00.000-07:00

Who thinks this stuff up... it's great! Although, it's gonna make me become a lazy blogger having someone always thinking up stuff for me to post :p

1. have you ever been so ashamed/embarrassed about your body or yourself that you could not be intimate with someone? why, and what did you do about it, if anything

oh hell no, I like sex too much to let anything stop me... there's nothing that turning off the lights can't fix

2. what is the part of your body you feel worst about, and why? what are you planning on doing about it, if anything?

eh, probably my tummy... losing weight is in order!

3. what is the part of your body you feel best about, and why?

hmmm... probably my eyes, the color is unique and I usually get some nice complements on them :)

TMI #94

2007-07-31T09:07:00.000-07:00

1. Toilet paper: over, under, or what the hell are you talking about?
under... but I think that's wrong, I think the *proper* way is supposed to be over....

2. Toilet when you are done: everything up, seat down but lid up, everything down?
seat down, lid up... I live alone so don't have to worry about annoying anyone...

3. When was the last time you kissed someone not your significant other? [I am talking about a kiss with some gusto not just a little hello or goodbye peck]
well... that would be Sunday... he's not really my SO, we just started hanging out a couple weeks ago...

4. Would you rather have you significant other (this can be a hypothetical SO) have sex with someone else or fall in love with someone else? [You have to pick one.]
ug, both horrible choices, I'll take the sex though... to have your SO fall in love with someone else is just too much...

5. If you had $1,000,000 to give away, how would you divide it up? Who and how much?
I'm sure I'm supposed to say a few random charities here but I think If I had to slpit it up it would go around to my family & friends... how cool would that be to pay off my moms house & cars for her, same with my sister... give a bunch to my cosest friends to pay off their bills, car and a down on a house...

Bonus (as in optional): Tell us something that very few people know about you.
hmmm... this is a tough one.... the only thing I can maybe think of is there was this one time with this guy and a strap-on...

Happy Tuesday!

Another Moment

2007-07-30T16:34:00.000-07:00

I love how we are never able to make it through a movie....

We'll be sitting on the couch and I'll catch you looking over at me and smiling that adorable grin that just begs for a kiss so I'll kiss you, no tongue at first just sliding my teeth across your bottom lip but I can't seem to pull away and stop so they get more urgent and tongue touches tongue fingers pull on hair and grip clothing. Your hand moves down to gently cup my breast and lightly pinch my nipple causing me to gasp then you run your fingers down my body and rest them between my legs and start rubbing my clit through my jeans. This draws a moan from me and I dig my nails into the back of your neck.

You stand up and take me by the hand, leading me to the bedroom. We help each other out of our clothes and you start to guide me to the bed but this time I want to please you, you're always so sweet to me. I turn you a & push you back down on to the bed, following you I bend down and slowly lick you up your thigh drawing a sharp breath from you. I move over to the other side and do the same thing this time rubbing my cheek against your hardness as I continue licking up to your stomach, my tongue circling your belly button, teasing you... I then go back down and start by slowly licking your hardness from base to tip circling around the top when I get there then closing my lips over you and lightly sucking. I tease you for a bit, just sucking on the tip, barely going down then in one motion I go down taking as much of you into my mouth as I can, causing you to cry out. I stay there for a few seconds, letting you savor the sensation before I start moving up and down on you slowly at first then picking up the pace, using my tongue at the same time, driving you crazy... god, I love listening to you.

You get to the point where you can't take it anymore and need to be inside me, you grab my arms and pull me up on top of you sliding into me. We both move to meet each others strokes, savoring the incredible feeling of being so close, so deep inside one another until we reach the point where we can't hold back any longer and explode into one another.

We lay there shaking, holding each other and I close my eyes and just smile...

thank you...

2007-07-29T22:37:00.001-07:00

Whatever higher power it is out there currently working in my favor, I say thank you... I'm having an amazing time right now.

Please let it continue...

Rambling on...

2007-07-28T14:12:00.000-07:00

Lately I've realized that I'm truly happy for just about the first time in my life (did I write about this already?). I mean, I haven't always been a miserable person or anything, I just kinda always felt likesomething was missing from my life. I know, now you're thinking it's because I me I met JS but it's not, I've been feeling like this for a while now. I used to be the friend who it's next to impossible to get me to commit to anything social and usually making up my mind kicking & screaming at the last minute. Of course, any time I did go out I'd usually have a fabulous time and ended up being the one who went home last.

Not so much this year.

This year I'm the girl who wants to be out every night living it up! I have discovered that I love hanging out at bars, I've met some of the best people there recently. No, I am not your typical barfly... and I hate that term. I've also discovered that I'm hot... I've always known that I'm pretty and never really had a problem attracting guys but it's been really interesting to go to a bar, pick out the guy that I want to take home and actually accomplish it just about every time. Yes, guys are horny but I'm picky so it's not like I'm goin home with the desperate ones.. ohhhh, no.... if I'm naked, you're hot too.

oh yea, so back to being happy.... it's a trip and I like it. I smile all the time, I like being out and meeting new people and I'm not afraid to be the person who starts the conversation with someone new. I'm even finally ok with going places by myself. I'm really having a good time and I've realized that while I'd love to have someone to share my life with, I don't *need* someone. Wow, that took HOW long?

Have I grown up finally?

Emotionally, I believe I finally have...

Patience

2007-07-26T09:18:00.000-07:00

Warning: I'm about to get a little mushy here but I know you can all handle it!

Yes, it's all about a boy... and I'm probably about to sound like a 15yr old girl

I guess I should give him a name since it seems he might be sticking around for a little bit, I'd call him Prince Charming but RD already picked that one up in her own blog... so, I'll simply use his initials and call him JS.

This boy is CUTE, and I do mean cute, adorable, sexy, whatever word you want to come up with... he has one of those cute, little boy, crooked-melt you right down to your toes smiles, he's the same age as me, 6'3", brownish hair and has these incredible blue eyes that I could stare into for hours.

don't fall for him, don't fall for him...

He's taken to calling me every night, and we talk for at least an hour each time... last night he was so cute, he had plans to meet a buddy for dinner so made it a point to call me beforehand just to say hi and chat for a bit but then he called me after he got home too, to let me know he got home ok and we ended up chatting for like an hour and a half about this & that.

too cute!

oh, one of the best parts... he's a baseball fan! I cannot tell you how hard it is to actually find a guy who likes baseball as much as I do. Like I will watch it on tv, at home, by myself. Heck, I'll even watch it online or listen on the radio. He's the same way :)

yea, I've got a crush....

This one will take time and patience though.... I know I alluded before to there being a big pink elephant in the room... he was married, he loved her, she passed away... recently. So he's still dealing with all that and isn't ready for anything too serious right now. I told him it's ok and there's no pressure and that this will be whatever it is and we'll just take it day by day. Me saying that really seemed to put him at ease and made him happy. So I'm gonna sit back and let him take the lead and just see what happens...

Patience is a Virtue, right?

TMI Tuesday- Actually on Tuesday!

2007-07-24T12:04:00.000-07:00

See, I knew I could do it!!

1. Leather, lace or silk?

tough call... probably lace... it's sexy.. leaves a bit to the imagination but not much. Silk I could also go for, I love the feeling of it...

2. Do you subscribe (or regularly buy) to any "dirty" magazines? Which ones?

I actually have a (free) subscription to both Maxim & Stuff but the address goes to the ex's house and we don't really talk anymore so I haven't been able to get them to change the address.

3. Have you ever had sex in water (tub/pool/lake/ocean)?

yes, although I'm not much of a fan, the water washes away all the natural lubricant and it doesn't feel as good... I love making out in the water though :)

4. The three words that best describe you in bed are ____, ____, and ____. Three words that best describe your most recent partner in bed are ____, ____, and ____.

hmmm... for me I'd have to say loud, sensual and kinky, for him amazing, sensual and perfect...

5. Did you lose your virginity as an impetuous youth, "to prove that you loved" him/her, because of a romantic gesture, a newly wed or other (please describe because I can't think of what an "other" might be)?

I was actually just horny and wanted to have sex to see what it felt like, lol

Bonus (as in optional): Name three words that:

a) get you excited b) make you squirm c) make you laugh

This one I'm having a real tough time with, I could tell you things but not specifically words...

Could it be?

2007-07-23T21:19:00.000-07:00

Could it be that I actually found a guy I want to spend more time with?

ummm... hell yes?

It's really weird, I'm kind of tetering on this edge of believing it's real, I keep wondering why *he* would really like *me* but then he calls and we talk for hours and he does the whole "I'll have to take you here" and "we'll have to do that" and ever so slightly I'm starting to slide down that edge.

RD always tells me that I don't give myself enough credit and why wouldn't he like me.. I'm beautiful, I'm nice, blah, blah, blah.... yea, maybe....

I'm going to try and be patient and ket it be what it is, there's a big pink elephant in the room that I can't contend with and only time will help it fade away. That's something I may share another time though.

He did say something kinda comforting & cute on the phone tonight though... first I must prefasce it with none of our friends know that we're *talking* and at this point in time he doesn't want them to (no, he's not married). So he wass telling me that he thinks his best friend (who is a girl) knows something is up because she keeps mentioning the fact that he's been smiling lately

That gave me little warm fuzzies :)

I know a lot of my stuff right now is fragmented and cryptic and I'm sorry, I'm still trying to get it straight in my head....

Bubbles

2007-07-20T12:22:00.000-07:00

I love how life throws it's silly little twists & turns that we're supposed to grow and learn from. Sometimes we learn, sometimes we choose to ignore those lessons and just move on. Occasionally one of those twists brings in something so wonderful and precious... like a bubble. You're afraid if you move or even breathe for fear that it will pop.

I'm finding myself living in one of those moments right now. I'm afraid if I say or do the wrong thing the bubble will burst and I'll be left with just a memory of what could have been.

So, even though I'm impatient by nature, I'm going to try and sit back and enjoy it for what it is and what it may become and just be happy with what I've been given the opportunity to experience.

TMI Tuesday (yes, on Wednesday)

2007-07-18T10:31:00.000-07:00

One of these days I'll actually get it done on the right day...

1. What's the sexiest type of underwear?

on a guy? boxers... I'm not a fan of the tighty whities and I don't like boxer briefs.... boxers leave something to the imagination which is so sexy to me

2. Would you/have you ever paid money for sex?
nope, I've been paid but I'd never pay for it

3. Is facial/body hair sexy or no? (Moustache, chest, etc. for men, and underarms/legs for women.) Or do you frankly not care?

I like moderate facial hair on guys.. moustache, goatee, little bit of a beard... just not a full beard or too much hair... chest hair is sexy, please trim (not shave) your parts (I hate pubes n my mouth), get rid of the back hair and it's ok to moderately trim the armpit hair....4. What is the strangest thing you've ever seen featured in pornography?oh god, I've seen the thing with the eels... please someone burn the image out of my brain

5. What's worse, not enough sex or too much? Is there such a thing as "too much"?

To me, not enough is worse... I have this insane sex drive and could have sex everyday and it still might not be enough... For me, I don't think there's such a thing as too much but, the parts do get a little sore sometimes so I'd say like 5-6 days a week is good and multiple times a day on those days would work just fine :) ... now can I find a guy with the same sex drive please!

Bonus: What's the most illegal thing you've ever done (that you can admit to, at least)? Were you caught?

hmmm.... I generally try to be a good person so I'd probably say taking illegal drugs/drinking and driving under the influence... unless shoplifting as a teenager was worse?

Moments

2007-07-15T18:40:00.000-07:00

From the moment I looked into his beautiful blue eyes the rest of the world just melted away, time stopped and something happened. We talked for hours and as the night wore on our chairs got closer and closer together and we developed a need to touch... a hand on a leg idly drawing circles finding the others hand and giving little sqeezes, fingers brushing across a cheek, leading up to that moment where we looked into each others eyes and leaned in for that first magical kiss. Tongues caressing, tasting and exploring each others mouths.

Later he drives me home and I invite him up. We continue exploring one another, kisses trailing over to ears and down to necks. He tells me it's been a long time since he felt this way and can't stop smiling. He removes my shirt and kisses down my chest lightly sucking on my nipples, trailing his tongue to my belly button swirling, teasing, making me feel incredible. He unbuttons my jeans and pulls them off resuming the kissing from my belly button traveling down until he reaches the perfect spot. He flicks his tongue back and forth and lightly sucks, then inserts a finger, then two inside me. The incredible sensation doesn't go on long before I start to feel it building up inside me until I explode but he doesn't stop there. He continues licking and sliding his fingers in and out letting the waves of ecstacy wash over me until I can't take it anymore and I reach down to pull him up so I can taste myself on his lips. I want him inside me and he slides in so easily in one breathtaking moment. He pauses just to take in the sensation then slowly at first he starts to slided in and out of me increasing his tempo our bodies moving together as one. He makes sure he's at the perfect angle and soon I feel another orgasm starting to build. I tell him he feels so good and not to stop, he can hear in my moaning that I'm approaching that moment of release, he quickens his pace and I cry out in ecstacy as it washes over me, he slows down and savors the sensation, letting me come to my senses again then again picks up the pace. We touch, we kiss, we just enjoy the feeling of one another until he is unable to hold back any longer. We lay there holding each other then he pulls away, laying on top of me, looking into my eyes, smiling and says "this is perfect"

and it was...

TMI Tuesday- Just a little late

2007-07-12T14:02:00.001-07:00

Yes, I know it's supposed to be HNT but I don't have any HN pics and I missed Tuesday so I figured I'd go back & answer some questions :)

1. Who was your childhood hero?

Since about the 6th grade it's been Madonna. I always admired her for her courage to do whatever she wanted to and not worry about what other people thought of her...

2. Have you ever had sex with someone who has a myspace page?

yes, I have... but I didn't meet him(them) through myspace

3. What fantasies have you openly told your partner about?

I actually have a hard time talking about my fantasies but have been very fortunate to meet a few people along the way who have been tenacious enough to get them out of me and fulfill them... I've been tied up, dominated, blindfolded, a threesome w/2 guys and generally stuff like that. I've messed around with a couple girls but the only fantasy that I haven't fully fulfilled (that I can think of) is a threesome with a guy and another girl... I'm still waiting for the right 2 people to make that happen... well, aside from the gang bang fantasy but I don't know if I'd have the guts to do that one...

4. Have you ever said you love someone but didn't mean it?

no... everytime I said it I meant it to some degree.

5. Have you ever woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you?

I've always known who the person was but there was one who I did not know his name. I had met him online and we'd been chatting through IM and the phone for a month or so and I had forgotten his name. Luckily my best friend rocks and knew what was going on so the next morning when she called I put her on the phone with him and she got it out of him for me... Davin

Bonus (as in optional): Do you remember a time when you were having sex that you smile or even laugh about now? Do tell...

LOL... I do have a story, it even has a title... Fiddler on the Roof...

A few years back I was messing around with this guy who liked to tie me up. This one night he had tied me to my bed both hands & feet and there was no way I was getting free on my own. Well, he decided he wanted to smoke a cigarette and his cigs were in his car. So he walks out the front door of my apartment and closes it behind him... *click*.. it locks. When he came back and discovered it he tried my front window and couldn't get it so ended up climbing over the roof of my apartment building and dropping down on to my balcony and coming in the back door.

I can't even image what would've happened if my back door had been locked...

don't wanna sleep...

2007-07-09T23:24:00.000-07:00

Last night I had this dream that I was laying in bed and my grandmother was smothering me and I couldn't breathe... I don't know if I was awake or asleep but I'm pretty sure I had a panic attack...

fyi- I've been drinking tonight so please excuse me...

I didn't share yesterday because I had other things on my mind but I did end up taking home a HOT little 21yr old Saturday night, at this other bar we sometimes go to, which resulted in a few really good orgasms. This little boy had a beautiful nicely sized cock and he really knew how to use it. I was on my period a little still so there was no oral but he was able to hit all my sweet spots and I think I ended up cumming like 4 or 5 times... Now he says he's gonna check out the place I usually hang out at to see if he can find me again.... I thought that was cute.

I wish I had someone to snuggle up to tonight to chase away the bad dreams....

g'night all....

sad...

2007-07-08T21:48:00.000-07:00

My grandma passed away today... my heart hurts

I wish I would've called her more and seen her more.... I guess I always thought I'd have time... She's not supposed to die, she's supposed to be here forever...

She always said she was going to dance at my wedding, I waited too long, now she'll never get to...

I love you grandma and I will always miss you

Happy Friday!

2007-07-06T15:26:00.000-07:00

No big plans for the weekend... RD and I will probably go out tonight but it's that "time of the month" for me, so more than likely, nothing exciting will happen :(

Know what I was thinkin.... I haven't been tied up in a while... I started to not feel comfortable anymore around the partner I had been playing with so I kinda just let that relationship fade away. I think he knew it too cause he hasn't tried to talk to me either. I guess my mission is to find a new (dominant) kinky boy to play with...

HNT?

2007-07-05T10:44:00.001-07:00

While in my blog cruising I kept seeing the letters HNT... I was like wth is that? So, I pulled it up on Google and it seems there is a blog phenomenon called Half Nekkid Thursdays.... woot!

This is probably the only time I'll do something like this, i'm not really one to post any type of nudity of myself (but I'm all for other people doing it!) but I do have one pic of me in a bra that I'll post for you all.

Happy HNT... enjoy!

A great 3rd & Happy 4th!

2007-07-04T22:28:00.000-07:00

So last night ended up being a great night.

First my best friend, RD and I went out for dinner and a drink at a local cantina where they had the A's game on and stayed until the game was over...

After that we walked across the street to this little bar but it was packed so we left and headed up the street, as we're walking by we see a couple we know and they end up joining us on our way to another local bar.

We stayed there for a few hours and had a few drinks, it was kind of annoying though, our cocktail waitress completely ignored us and it was taking about 30minutes to get a drink at the bar. Around midnight my best friend and I decide to leave because she's not getting drunk or even tipsy at all due to the slow service and she's all annoyed.

So she and I head up to this bar right near my place and order a couple drinks & a couple shots and she mellows out. We end up talking to a couple nice guys, one of them is cute and he's clearly interested in her, which is good. While we were there D text messaged me to see what I was doing (yay!!!) and I asked him if he wanted to come on up to my place.

We stayed until the bar closed then RD ended up going over to that guys place and D ended up coming over and omg, again with the fantastic sex. I think I'm developing a bit of a crush on this guy, which doesn't usually happen. He's so cute, and sweet, and funny and we have the best sex. Plus he's a cuddler and I just love that. I sooo hope I get to see him again this coming weekend...

Today was pretty fun also, went to my moms for a BBQ during the day and then BBQ'd at RD's house for dinner. After that we watched the fireworks display they put on at the local Fairgrounds.

Happy 4th!!!

Happy Monday

2007-07-02T15:11:00.000-07:00

Weekends always seem to go by so fast!!

It was a pretty good one though.

Friday after work I went and met some friends for drinks and stayed there for a bit then later my best friend.. we'll call her RD, and I headed on over to our local hangout to have a couple drinks see what's going on.

Let me take you back a bit here... about 3 weeks ago RD and I were at the bar, she got drunk and ended up walking home so I introduced myself to this really cute guy and his roommate. I was drunk, he was drunk, I end up going home with him, we have some good sex, I stay the night and he drives me back to my car in the morning. Didn't ask for my phone number or anything. As I'm driving home I'm thinking, he didn't ask for my phone number, what the hell, then I realize, I've just had my first true one night stand! Don't get me wrong, there have been plenty of guys who I've only slept with once but if it was someone I met online it was prefaced by an IM conversation and a phone call or two or if ti was someone I met out in the world, phone numbers were exchanged.

So, moving back to friday night, we go to the bar and sit down on the end, there are people playing pool behind us but I don't pay them any attention, after a few minutes I go to the bathroom and on my way back I look over to the pool table and there is my one night stand!! I have no idea what to do! Do I acknowledge his presence? He's with his roommate and a girl, and I don't want to interrupt it if he's trying to get with her. So I just sit at the end of the bar with my back to him pretending I don't see him, lol. A while later I go to the bathroom again and when I came out he was standing righ there (awww, how cute) I say hello, he says hello and gives me a big hug and asks why I didn't come say hi to him, I told him it wasd because he was with another girl, turns out that's the 3rd roommate I didn't meet the first night so it's all good. He brings me over and introduces me to her and I chat with the three of them for a bit then I go back over to RD. As the night progressed RD and I ended up sitting over by my one night stand and his roommates and I get the idea that I'm going to hook up RD with the roommate so I can go home with my little hottie again and everybody is all good with it. So we end up going back to their place and my one night stand becomes a two night stand. We fucked for what seemed like hours, he went down on me a little bit & I did the same. We fell asleep and he woke me up, I think, around 5am and we did it all over again until the sun was up, then fell back asleep.

Now, here's the kicker... after I woke up I go to grab my phone to text RD to see if she's ok and when she wants to leave and my little text message thing is showing on my phone so I go to look and I have not one but THREE text messages from D at 1:51, 2:07 and 2:15 basically checking to see if I'm still up.... Murphy's Law ya know :( I swear I probably would've left my one night stand to go see him had I heard my phone.....

oh well, I'm crossing all my parts that I still have a shot at a next time...

Just another Thursday...

2007-06-28T22:26:00.000-07:00

Today was just an average day, nothing special happened, no juicy details to talk about.... I went and had dinner with my best friend and we walked around the mall for a bit, that was fun...

I'm thinking about texting D tomorrow to see if he wants to get together, I can't get him or the mind blowing sex we had out of my head. I need to find out if it was just a drunk thing or not...

oh, that reminds me, I don't think I ever gave an update on him.... he did end up texting me last week to say hi then Saturday night he sent me one asking what i was doing, that he was at a friends house watching the fights and if I wanted company later. I said that I'd love some. I guess he didn't end up leaving his friends house until later than he thought he would cause he sent me a text at 12:30 saying that he was tired from the night & week and that he was going to go to bed.... hmmmm, effin guys...

So we'll see what happens tomorrow and this weekend... I promise I'll try to have a hot time to write about!

ttfn

My "100 things"

2007-06-27T16:43:00.000-07:00

So I've been perusing blogs and I found that a lot of people have these "My 100 things" lists so I figured I'd jump on the bandwagon!

I'm 5' 3 3/4"
I'm a Virgo
I lost my virginity when I was 14
I love Creme Brulee and Chocolate Mousse
I have to sleep with the closet door closed for fear of the closet monster
and covers on my feet for fear of the snakes under the bed biting my toes...
I was once paid for sex
My tongue is pierced
and I can still tie a cherry stem into a knot with it
Moulin Rouge is my favorite movie
I'm a huge romantic
I want to have a boyfriend and be in love so bad but I'm afraid I'll miss being single and sleeping around
I'm a fantastic kisser
and have been told I'm amazing in bed
I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up
I've had my heart broken
Diamonds are my favorite stones followed by Sapphires
I love receiving oral sex, it is my single most favorite thing ever
I like to read erotica
I think DVR's are the single greatest entertainment invention ever
I like to make people laugh
I'm fairly vain
I look when I type but I type fairly quickly
I have naturally dark brown hair
It hasn't been its natural color since I was 15
I am 75% sure I cannot have children and it makes me incredibly sad
I love Cherry Pepsi
I'm a cat person
Someday I will own a BMW
The thought of someone reading my blog excites me
I want to know if anyone is reading my blog!
I only recently started wearing open toed shoes
I like to be tied up
I LOVE baseball!
My favorite color is purple
I love Sushi
I wish I had smaller boobs
My favorite holiday is Valentines Day
it is also my least favorite holiday...
I have 2 tattoos and 16 piercings
all my piercings are above the neck and 12 of them are in my earlobes
I was born in San Francisco
I'm always horny and have yet to meet a guy with my sex drive
My dream job is either as a landscape photographer or to own a bar
I believe in Karma and the Golden Rule
My favorite flowers are Roses
I hate to sleep alone but am picky about who I spend the whole night with
Sometimes I feel like picking up and moving to New York even though I've never been there and don't think I'd like living in a big city
Did I mention that I LOVE baseball!
I have a secret kinky sex fetish...
it's that if a guy puts his hand firmly on my neck, most of the time, I'll instantly cum
I have never seen any of The Godfather movies
I've seen Madonna in concert twice
I am hard to impress but easy to please
I did not go to College
I've never been kissed at the stroke of midnight on New Years Eve
I usually pay for the person behind me when I cross a bridge with a toll
I call it my "random act of kindness"
My favorite tv show is Greys Anatomy
I'd rather be cold than hot
I have never been arrested
I am afraid of heights
I'm a night owl and prefer nighttime, I'm not a morning person
I love ice cream
I loved the boy bands when they were the craze (BSB, NSync, 98°, etc...)
I still like them....
I love Musicals, my favorite being Phantom of the Opera
I love glitter, if I could get away with wearing it in some fashion on my face or hair everyday, I would
I love cheese
I only had the 2 wisdom teeth on my right side, none on the left
I drive a Neon
I sleep with my makeup on
I shower, wash my hair and put on makeup every day (no matter what)
I still have my tonsils
and my appendix
I'm a bit claustrophobic and can't wear turtlenecks or tight neck shirts
I was agorophobic for a few months back in 2000
I cannot function without knowing where my cell phone is at all times
I have a cat named Princess
I talk to her as if she were human
I drove across 3 states with a friend to pick up a truck he bought on ebay one time
I hate letting anyone else drive and I'm a horrible passenger
People automatically cateorgize my sister and I into "the smart one" (her cuz she has her PhD) and the pretty one ( you... cuz... duh)... when actually I hold both titles and my mom admits it (RD came up with this one)
I can go weeks, months, years without talking to some of my friends, and yet things are never awkward or weird when we hang out
95% of my friends worked at the phone company at one time or another
My favorite song is In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel
I don't care much for feet
I didn't know the name of the 1st boy I kissed
I prefer being cold to being hot
I like to fish
My favorite store is Fry's Electronics
My initials are MMM
I'm licensed to sell Life & Health Insurance in Cali but will probably never do it
I have no idea how many people I've slept with
did I mention the baseball thing? ;)
I like to play fantasy MMORPG's
My favorite alcoholic drink is Rum & Diet
My favorite shots are German Chocolate Cakes, Oatmeal Cookies & Photon Torpedoes
My best friend and I have kissed... and done other stuff
I've been in love with the same guy since I was 12, he's my first love, the love of my life and can never be with him

Do you ever...

2007-06-27T11:38:00.000-07:00

get so horny that you feel like you just can't take it anymore?

ok, what am I saying... everybody feels like that at some point. With me, it happens frequently and it's happening today and driving me crazy since I'm at work.

It's so bad that I've even been sitting here thinking about who I could call to come over to sneak back into the office real quick to bend me over the desk and release some of this pent up sexual frustration.... I think I'm too chicken to risk my job for it though as exciting as that sounds...

oh yea.. as promised, here are some pictures taken at the SF Gay Pride Parade & Festival

mmmmm.... For Sparta!!!

New Addiction and an Admission

2007-06-26T14:09:00.001-07:00

I think I get the whole Blog addiction now!

Yesterday I found the "next blog" link at the top of the page and started surfing. I found a bunch of cool blogs! It's like peering into someone else's life and I'm quite the voyeur so I love it!

I found one that really fascinated me so I added a link to it on the right (I'll add more) ... this girl sounds sooo much like me it's scary. Well, except the being paid for sex thing.. I'm too picky to travel that route. I like younger guys and I know the money is with the older ones....

however, I can't really say that I've never done it though.

A few years back I was working a different job and one of our customers was really attracted to me and offered to pay me if I slept with him. The thought kind of excited me and he wasn't gross or anything so I agreed to do it. He went down on me, which I love and the sex wasn't bad and I made a decent amount of money for it. It only happened 2 or 3 times before he was begging to do anal and that's something I'll really only do with a boyfriend so we ended up parting ways.

I can't say I'll never have sex for money again but for now I'll stick to fucking younger guys for fun :)

oops...

2007-06-25T13:57:00.001-07:00

So it's been 6 days since my last blog post....

I don't have *too* much to report... no new guys this weekend, I almost got to see D on Sat night but it ended up being too late when he was done at his friends house so he just went home to bed with promises of *soon*... we'll see about that, lord knows I'm not sittin at home waiting for a guy to find time for me :P

I did go with a couple of friends to the Gay Pride Festival in SF this weekend, that was fun (I'm not gay)... All the costumes and just wide array of people trip me out, I love it. Plus the booths give out tons of free stuff like lube and condoms and I've been trying to be really good about practicing safe sex so I needed condoms. The two friends I went with are a male couple so I traded them my lube for their condoms and we all made out nicely :)

Later when I'm home I'll see if I can't figure out how to get some pics linked into my blog to show some of the stuff that was there.

ttfn

boys, boys, boys...

2007-06-19T12:01:00.000-07:00

Why do they have to be so confusing...

Friday night my best friend and I went to the bar and had a really good time. My ex roommate was there (I rented a room in her house last year for 6months while I was going through the breakup with the ex) with a couple of her guy friends and I started talking to one of them... we'll call him "D".

This guy was hella funny and we were having a great time. At one point he accudentally dropped his glass on the floor and a piece of it cut open my toe so for like half the night my foot was up in his lap while he held a napkin to it cause the bar didn't have any band-aids and it wouldn't stop bleeding, lol

So at the end of the night I end up being too drunk to drive so my ex roommate drives her, D and I to her house. She goes to bed and he and I end up kissing on the couch and winding up in bed together.... and all I can say is.... wow. He was so sweet and passionate and it was just one of the best times I've had in bed in a while. That wasn't even the best part... The best part is that afterwards we talked and talked until the sun started to come up. I seriously can't remember the last time I did that with someone.... He told me his "story" and asked why I didn't have a boyfriend so I told him a bit about mine... it was really cool. The next morning I had to get up and leave around 9 to go out of town and he was so cute, I went to get up and he grabbed me and pulled me close so I wouldn't go.... he gave me his number and I gave him mine.

So here's where I get all confused. ok, I am self admitted bad at dating. I've always either met someone through a friend or work or whatever or just had casual relationships.... I've never really "dated". I don't like drama and I don't play games so I don't really know all the "rules of dating". Like you're supposed to wait 3 days to call or whatever it is... wtf, if you like the person call them the friggin next day and just say hey, I had a great time... but whatever... it is what it is... So, I haven't talked to him since that night and I'd like to but I'm impatient and it's driving me nuts... compounded with the fact that I sent him a text message Sunday night and never got a response.

Normally I wouldn't care 'cause normally I'm good with one night stands or casual things but there was just something about this guy that got through my walls to get me intrigued enough to want to talk to him again...

oh good lord, I sound like some insecure little high school girl don't I.... ok, enough of all that, I had a week moment and voiced my thoughts.... composure regained, I'll stop now....

The Crisis Continues...

2007-06-14T23:05:00.000-07:00

I guess the Pleasure Party was postponed to another day so no new toys for me :(

oh well, life goes on....

Tomorrow is Friday... yay! Friday nights at the bar sometimes end up rather interesting for me.... I have this thing about sex with strangers ;) It's exciting and fun and well... addicting I suppose.

So, cross your fingers for me... I'm going out of town Saturday morning so I'll update Sunday or Monday....

Toy Crisis

2007-06-13T21:46:00.000-07:00

yep, that's right... I'm having a toy crisis.... the x-rated kind

Although I prefer the real thing every so often a girl has to do what a girl has to do.... So, I have this favorite vibe... it's just a regular hard plastic one with purple & white candy cane stripes but boy does that sucker vibrate.... yum!

Anyways, when I moved in October I packed it in a different spot than the rest of my toys and now I don't remember where that was and I can't find it :( So, a couple weeks ago I go to use favorite #2 and the sucker breaks... wtf... ok, moving on to favorite #3... yea, not so much... that one I apparently left batteries in and the corroded and the inside is all rusted & stuff....

So, toy crisis it is....

Possibly my saving grace.... my best friend told me today that someone she knows is having a pleasure party tomorrow so we're gonna go check it out...... thank god

So, cross your fingers for some good vibrations!

Retail Therapy!

2007-06-12T22:51:00.000-07:00

So, I've never been much of a shopper..... I hate trying on clothes cause it's always so hard to find something I like and it can be really discouraging when somnething doesn't fit and you have to go to the next size up... but recently my best friend has turned me around and I'm growing to really like it.

Anyways, tonight my best friend asked me if I wanted to go to the mall so we go to Macy's and check out the makeup department, she bought some stuff, I didn't... although it was hard not to, lol.

Then we got to go Fredericks.... yay! I LOVE that store! They actually have my size.... I've been trying to convince the universe that I'm a 38DD but really I'm not, *sigh* I'm a 38E. That may sound all fun & stuff but it's really not... it sooo hard to find bras that fit, cute ones at that, (plus it's hell on the shoulders and back) but Frederics has them! So I have 3 new cute bras... yay!

Now to just find someone to show them to... lol

That's a story for another time....

Hello World...

2007-06-11T15:56:00.000-07:00

I thought I might try out this blogging thing and see where it goes...

I've never been much of a writer plus I'm a fairly private person so I've never kept a diary or anything like that but I like the anonymity of this whole set-up so I thought I'd try it out... I figure I'll possibly get better as time goes on....

So yea... Hi

Heeeere we go.....