TMI #107

1. If they kept stats of your sex life like they do in sports, what would you lead the league in? what all time record would you hold?
haha, this is kind of a silly question... I don't think I'd lead the league or hold any records for anything...

2. What song gets you in the mood to have sex? best music to fuck to? best music to make love to?
oddly enough, I don't think I've ever had sex to music...maybe way back when I was a teenager or something, I dunno. As far as what gets me in the mood... anything that I can grind up against someone to...

3. Where is your favorite place to have sex in your house/apartment?
the bed... boring, I know... although, I'd really love for someone to bend me over the kitchen table or fuck me while I'm sitting on the kitchen counter....

4. (girls) Have you sent or given your used panties to a guy? Do you know what happened to them? (guys) Have you taken/asked for a girls panties before? What did you do with them? (non-breeders) What is the protocol for this "tradition"?
nope, my panties always go back on... plus, that's just weird to me

5. What makes a kiss a great to you?
passion...

Bonus: Who pays for a date? If the girl asks a guy out, does she pay? If you are interested in same sex partners, how do you determine who pays?
I kinda like to keep things fair... he'll pay one time I'll pay the next. If we do something like dinner and the movies and he pays for dinner I'll get the movies.

My Solution & Some HNT

ok, I finally came to a decision about Mike. I'm not going to go visit him, I know he has a girlfriend and I don't want to take a visit from her plus, although it probably wouldn't happen, there's always the chance that he'd refuse my visit and that would crush me. Instead I wrote him a letter and included my phone number and am going to leave it up to him whether or not he wants to talk to me. I just hope I can finally get some closure so I can close that chapter of my life and finally start to move on.

As for CB, he and I are still being dysfunctional, I really need to move on, I'm not sure what's stopping me. We had another stupid arguement last night and I haven't heard from him at all today. I'm sure that'll only last until tomorrow night though...

Here's me tired and a little hungover but making it through the day!

I didn't go

I wanted to go visit him so badly last night but I didn't. I went and hung out with some friends at the bar instead. The next time he's allowed visitors is Thursday so today I'm safe from sitting here wondering "should I go?" for at least a day. I did dream about him again last night, that's happened every night since I saw his brother on Friday. I guess my brain is just trying to sort out the conflict while I'm sleeping. I need closure and I'm never gonna get it if I don't see him...am I gonna get it if I see him though?

oh yea, for the record...

I did end up having sex Friday night

I can't seem to hold out & stop talking to CB for very long, that time it was from Sat to Fri... As soon as I end up in the same place as him I give in & end up taking him home with me. He is good with his tongue, his hands, everything else and knows the right places to touch just the right way to drive me crazy plus he knows and does the one kinky thing that turns me on more than anything and it's just too damn hot to give up!!!

So yes, many orgasms were had Friday night...

Confusion, Turmoil & Some TMI

We all have one... the one that got away, the person who hurt you so bad it's hard for you to trust anyone else now, the #100 on your "100 Things" list, the guy who you've started a blog about but have never been quite able to finish telling the story, the love of your life, one of the only 2 first kisses you remember, the boy you fell in love with when you were 12 but didn't get together with until you were 23... the boy who broke your heart when you were 25 and you've never really been able to move beyond it.

ok, ok, so maybe you don't have that guy, but I do.

The last time I talked to him was in July '03 and every day since then I've thought about him and wondered where he was and what he was doing.

Friday night I ran into his brother at the bar and got the answer to that question.

He's in jail, in the town that I live in and now I'm waging a war inside myself on whether or not I should go see him.

I think I need to. Not for answers, I don't want an explanation of why he did what he did. I just want to know we can be friends and that I can walk away this time.

we'll see.

ok, enough of that... time for some TMI!

1. What are your 7 favorite tactile things that turn you on? Sex (like oral, or penetrative) cannot be an answer. (Examples: silk, light tickling, etc).
massages, light tickling, kissing and light kisses in the right spots.. ok, really anywhere on the body, sucking on my neck, feathers, silk... is that 7?

2. What are your non-genital errogenous zones and what do you like done to them?
There's this spot on my neck that Mike was always able to find... omg, it would drop me to my knees, aside from that back of the knees & ankles...

3. What sounds get you sexually charged?
the quickening of breathing and any kind of moans or noises from a guy... I love guys who make noise when they're turned on, that just gets me going like you wouldn't believe.

4. After losing your virginity, what is the longest you’ve gone without penetrative sex?
I'm not sure, I lost my virginity at 14 so I'd guess 6 months and that would've been years & years ago... now I'm goin crazy if I go 6 days :P

5. What is your least favorite sexual position? Why don't you like it?
I'm actually not a fan of being on top, it eventually hurts my back.

Bonus (as in optional):If you could sexually dominate or submit to 5 people - any 5, currently living or deceased - which 5 would it be?
I think I'm gonna pass on the bonus this week, I don't really have a good answer for it...

Happy TMI!

What happened to the sex?

Seriously.

My original intent of this blog was to talk about all my smutty little adventures and what did I go and do... I broke my rules and got involved with a boy and then another one and then started talking about feelings and stuff and stopped writing about sex.

My bad.

So, while maybe not this weekend (I think I'm getting my effin period, why couldn't it wait till Monday!) but hopefully next weekend I'll make an effort to get back to my prowling ways and find a cute new victim to tell you all about :)

So, hope everyone has a sex fill weekend, have an orgasm or two for me!

Kisses!

I kinda miss him...

RD dedicated this song to be our song so now it reminds me of him... This isn't the actual video for it but I'm not able to link to the real one. You can search for Jason Michael Carroll over on YouTube if you want to see his version.

TMI #104 (a week late)

I took a look at this weeks questions and don't really have any good answers for them since I'm not so good at the dating thing so since I missed last week I figured I'd go back & do those instead.

oh, and bare with me, I'm messing with my blog colors again :)

1. Wash up, cuddle or fall asleep?
I'd say cuddle or just lay there with one body part touching, like a hand, leg or foot. I'm usually too wired to sleep and washing up right away is just tacky... well, unless it's one of those kinds of things ;)

2. Have you ever fake orgasms?
haha, yes, he needed to be done!

3. In any 24 hour period, what is the most number of times you have ever had sex?
I think this question is really open a lot to interpretation. What is considered a "time". Is it when he cums, when I cum? When he stops then starts again 10 minutes later after a breather? A couple weeks ago I had sex off & on from around midnight to 3am then resumed again off & on from like 8am to noon... (good lord that was fun!)

4. Have you ever had sex or give/received oral sex while you were driving a car?
I know I've given oral while someone was driving & I want to say that I've received but it would've been so long ago that I can't clearly recall if I have or not...

5. What do you think the average number of sexual partners your sex has in their lifetime (so for me a male)? Do you think most people lie when asked?
I'd probably say around 6, although in todays day & age women are becoming more and more ok with casual relationships and sleeping with more men than in past history so the number is probably larger. As far as lying about it, I'd imagine there are a lot of women out there who do lie about it since it's still not really socially acceptable for a woman to sleep around.

Bonus (as in optional):Can men and women be "just friends?" (Explain)
I think it's possible but not too common. At some point human nature kicks in and one of the two develops an attraction for the other.

My Random Ponderings

It's interesting the different answers people come up with to these questions. You're welcome to answer them here in a comment or to just ponder them to yourself.


Why do we have such a need to have someone else in our lives to make us feel complete?

Why do we love when we know we might get hurt or hurt someone?

Why do we need love at all?

Is there such a thing as love at first sight?

Is there such a thing as soul mates?

Happy Monday

This weekend was alright.

Friday night RD and I went out to the bar. CB showed up not too long after we were there and a bunch of other people we know were there. She ended up playing dice with a few people down on the other end of the bar from where CB and I were sitting. It was really great to see her laughing and having a good time but I couldn't help thinking... why am I not down there. I'm usually the one right up in the middle of the fun but here I was sittin on a bar stool next to this guy, hardly talking and not having the best time I could've. Yea, I probably should've gotten up & gone over & played dice with everyone else but I didn't really want to deal with the comment or the bad mood I probably would've gotten later about it. He did end up coming home and staying the night with me... after all that with the cat stuff I didn't even ask why he made the exception.

Saturday after RD got off work we swung by a BBQ I had been invited to, it was ok, mostly really young or older people but the location was a beautiful piece of property. I hadn't heard from CB pretty much all day other than 1 silly text forward which I thought was strange, he usually sends me text messages all throughout the day just sayin hi or seeing what I'm up to. So, around 6pm I sent him one asking how his day was & got no response. Around 9:30 RD and I went to the bar & he was there and of course, like every Saturday he was already really drunk. Now, he's one of those people who kind of has a hair trigger personality and something so silly & random can set him off, when he's drunk it's so much worse, it drives me nuts. He was pretty good though throughout the night until it came time to leave. One of his friends came out to the car(I was sober) to say goodbye to us and I guess he said something to piss of CB so then they had to do the manly talking shit chest to chest thing until I said something about knocking off the infantile behavior or I was leaving by myself. His friend got him to back down & get in the car & we left. So then we get to my house he gets out, comes around and tells me that he's leaving... wtf. There was a short conversation that was had with me basically saying if he wasn't going to come up & stay the night that we were done.. sorry, I'm not ok with the drunk driving. He actually chose to get in the car and leave...

He sent me a text about 1/2 later saying good night sweetie and I sent one back telling him I meant what I said about us being done and I haven't heard from him since...

I'm ok with it all, yes I liked him and yes I'll miss him but I can only say "He's really nice when he's sober" so many times before it becomes ridiculous.

It took a lot of convincing for me to give him a shot so I think I want to take a break from the whole dating just one person thing for a while. I don't like to nor do I want to have to modify my behavior and who I am for someone else, that doesn't make me happy.

Uninspired & Some HNT

That's how I'm feeling I suppose, and it's not that I'm unhappy or anything, I just don't really know what to say right now. Almost a writers block I suppose.

I do have one little frustrating thing going on though. I've finally given in and been hanging out with Country Boy... by the way, I'm shortening him to CB... anyways, I've decided that I like him. He's really sweet to me and we have a good time together.

Now here comes the part where I'm Karmically cursed.

A couple years ago he had lung cancer & had a transplant and is now immunosuppressed and has to get labs done every couple weeks to make sure everything's ok. He went a couple days ago and his labs came back that he has some weird virus that has something to do with cats that he had before and had to get blood transfusions for to get rid of.

Well, I have a cat... and I'm not giving her up... and now he can't hang out at my place and his place isn't an option.

Aside from that stuff, JS's new girlfriend and I have tentatively started talking and are on our way to becoming friends. She's a nice girl and while I was feeling a little resentful towards her at first for what happened, I know it's not her fault and he's a good friend and I just want him to be happy and this is what he's chosen. So I support that and want to make it comfortable for everyone and want everyone to be friends & have a good time.

Little bit of HNT for ya! I posted one of my tattoos a couple weeks ago so here's the rest.

TMI #103

1. Early bird or night owl?
I am such the night owl!

I will go to bed as late as possible to still get up on time in the morning.. and boy, watch out cause I'm sooooo not a morning person, lol

2. If you could only be one, would you rather be smart or good looking?
damnit, this one is hard... I'm both smart and good looking and I'm not sure which I'd give up... just how "not good looking" would I be?? Would I still be good looking enough to pick up guys? hehe... I'm bad, I know...

3. Do you gossip?
little bit to my best friend but tthat's to be expected... I'm pretty good at extracting gossip from people without giving up any of my own info though

4. On a scale of 1-10, how adventurous are you? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest)
sexually- about an 8 or 9, in life- probably a 5 or 6

5. On a scale of 1-10, how good a kisser do you think you are? ( ditto )
an 11! no, really... I'm a sensual kisser and I like to nibble on lower lips a little ;)

Bonus (as in optional):What do you consider the biggest turn on out of the following? a) lingerie b) movies c) toys d) role playing e) leather f) none of this does anything for me
what happened to g)all of the above? .... any one of those things can be a huge turn on given the setting, mood & other person involved...