Happy Monday

This weekend was alright.

Friday night RD and I went out to the bar. CB showed up not too long after we were there and a bunch of other people we know were there. She ended up playing dice with a few people down on the other end of the bar from where CB and I were sitting. It was really great to see her laughing and having a good time but I couldn't help thinking... why am I not down there. I'm usually the one right up in the middle of the fun but here I was sittin on a bar stool next to this guy, hardly talking and not having the best time I could've. Yea, I probably should've gotten up & gone over & played dice with everyone else but I didn't really want to deal with the comment or the bad mood I probably would've gotten later about it. He did end up coming home and staying the night with me... after all that with the cat stuff I didn't even ask why he made the exception.

Saturday after RD got off work we swung by a BBQ I had been invited to, it was ok, mostly really young or older people but the location was a beautiful piece of property. I hadn't heard from CB pretty much all day other than 1 silly text forward which I thought was strange, he usually sends me text messages all throughout the day just sayin hi or seeing what I'm up to. So, around 6pm I sent him one asking how his day was & got no response. Around 9:30 RD and I went to the bar & he was there and of course, like every Saturday he was already really drunk. Now, he's one of those people who kind of has a hair trigger personality and something so silly & random can set him off, when he's drunk it's so much worse, it drives me nuts. He was pretty good though throughout the night until it came time to leave. One of his friends came out to the car(I was sober) to say goodbye to us and I guess he said something to piss of CB so then they had to do the manly talking shit chest to chest thing until I said something about knocking off the infantile behavior or I was leaving by myself. His friend got him to back down & get in the car & we left. So then we get to my house he gets out, comes around and tells me that he's leaving... wtf. There was a short conversation that was had with me basically saying if he wasn't going to come up & stay the night that we were done.. sorry, I'm not ok with the drunk driving. He actually chose to get in the car and leave...

He sent me a text about 1/2 later saying good night sweetie and I sent one back telling him I meant what I said about us being done and I haven't heard from him since...

I'm ok with it all, yes I liked him and yes I'll miss him but I can only say "He's really nice when he's sober" so many times before it becomes ridiculous.

It took a lot of convincing for me to give him a shot so I think I want to take a break from the whole dating just one person thing for a while. I don't like to nor do I want to have to modify my behavior and who I am for someone else, that doesn't make me happy.